Lily Allen has candidly revealed the emotional toll of discovering that her marriage to Stranger Things actor David Harbour had ended amid a three-year affair.
Speaking to British Vogue, the 39-year-old singer shared how the shocking betrayal brought her to the brink of despair, nearly triggering a relapse into alcohol, drugs, and disordered eating.
“I realized I wanted to die,” Lily admitted, reflecting on the darkest moments following her split last December.
She described how her long-standing sobriety was tested as feelings of hopelessness consumed her, leaving her desperate to find a safe way to cope.
Seeking Help and Finding Strength
Recognizing the severity of her emotions, Lily made the difficult but necessary decision to check herself into a residential facility.
“I knew the things I was feeling were too extreme to manage alone,” she said.
“That awareness, to reach out for help on my own, felt like progress and strength.”
The singer emphasized that her past experiences with such facilities were often against her will, making her voluntary decision a significant step in reclaiming control over her life.
Channeling Pain Into Music
Lily’s heartbreak has become deeply intertwined with her creative output.
Her upcoming album, set for release by BMG this autumn, draws heavily from her marriage and subsequent breakup.
In the track Sleepwalking, she sings about betrayal, while Dallas Major touches on the complexities of her marriage after her husband’s affair.
When asked if the songs are aimed directly at David, Lily explained, “They’re inspired by what went on in the relationship, but it’s not the complete gospel truth. It’s my perspective, my experience.”
Writing the album, she says, allowed her to process feelings of “confusion, sorrow, grief, and helplessness,” turning personal trauma into art.
Past Albums Reflect Personal Struggles
Lily reflected on how her previous albums were shaped by major life events.
Her debut explored the pain of her first love’s breakup, Sheezus captured the challenges of fame while juggling motherhood, and her prior work emerged from the fallout of her first marriage
. “Each record is a reflection of a chapter in my life,” she said.
Family and Recovery at the Forefront
Despite the tumult, Lily has focused on recovery and rebuilding her life.
Daily meetings, therapy, meditation, and antidepressants have all helped her regain stability.
“I feel okay, actually,” she shared, noting that while she still experiences ups and downs, she has established a supportive routine.
Her daughters, Marnie, 11, and Ethel, 13, remain central to her journey.
Lily explained, “Part of what I’m doing creatively now is for them.
I want to show them that even through devastating experiences, we can come through stronger.”
Navigating Dating and Self-Discovery
Approaching her 40s, Lily is exploring self-discovery and reflecting on past relationships, including her connection with her father.
She acknowledged that dating has changed, in part due to the influence of social media and the abundance of options online.
“I’m taking the time to unpack patterns and learn more about myself before diving into anything new,” she said.
Moving Forward With a Fresh Start
Lily has also been reshaping her physical space, moving out of her Brooklyn townhouse—a home she shared with David, which featured in Architectural Digest—and into a London ex-council flat.
She described decorating the new flat as therapeutic, allowing her to immerse herself in creativity during a difficult period.
“I’ve wanted to live in this building since I was a child,” she said.
“Finally, I was in a position to make it happen, and it’s been incredibly healing.”
Life Lessons From Heartbreak
Lily reflected on her breakup with David, who had reportedly created a secret dating profile, leaving her feeling betrayed.
She acknowledged that their relationship had positive aspects, especially the experiences it afforded their children living in America.
“I have compassion for him, and we all suffer in our own ways,” she said.
Looking Ahead
Now in a more positive space, Lily is embracing recovery, creativity, and family life while continuing to process her past.
Her forthcoming album offers fans a raw, honest glimpse into her personal journey, capturing resilience, self-awareness, and the ongoing work of rebuilding after heartbreak.
British Vogue’s November issue, featuring Lily’s full interview, will be available on newsstands and digitally from Tuesday, October 21st, 2025.