I specialize in working with people with extreme fetishes as a sexual and relationship counselor. A woman in her forties, who is one of my coaching clients, reveals with composure that this is one of the first times she has openly discussed her attraction to sneezes. Despite the fact that we live in close proximity to one another in Brooklyn, we communicate via Zoom, which, according to her, makes it easier to open up.
Because she is in a new relationship, P, my client, has contacted me. Even though she has never revealed her fetish to a partner before, she is ready to do so with her present relationship and requires aid with the big reveal.
What is a fetish for sneezing?
Mucophilia, often known as a sneeze fetish, is when people find sneezing sexually appealing. Sneeze aficionados may be sexually attracted by their own sneezes and frequently experience sexual arousal from hearing or observing others sneeze.
The sneezing-fetish group is flourishing, with nearly 500,000 entries on one topic. In the forum, individuals pose questions such as “Do large noses mean large sneezes?” and “Can you predict a sneeze based on a person’s personality or appearance?” There is also much discussion regarding the most exciting form of sneeze, ranging from quiet, polite sneezes to messy, loud sneezes to false alarms.
There are also potent conversations in which individuals discuss how validating it is to having a forum where they can come up about their fetish. Many discuss the importance of community in releasing whatever guilt they may be harboring, especially considering that many users claim to never having revealed their fetish with anybody before, including their long-term spouses. In addition, there is a dating and hookup forum where users may publish their location, what they are seeking, and whether they are DTS — that is, down to sneeze.
How may a fetish for sneezing affect your relationships?
Regarding sex positivity, we still have a ways to go as a global community. Consequently, although the increased enjoyment that having a fetish might provide, it also brings challenges for many individuals. A few days following our talk, my client P disclosed her fetish for the first time to a partner. When P sneezed, her partner originally found it adorable, but over time she came to find it seductive.
P stated that she hadn’t shared her sneeze fetish with previous partners, and she is unsure if she decided not to because she didn’t feel as close to them, or whether she didn’t get as close to them because she didn’t share her fetish. Regardless of the response, she is pleased that she informed her present companion. “Because I took the risk to inform this current partner, I feel that I have ‘put myself out there’ in a way that feels more connected, given that sneezing is pretty much the way I always get off,” P explained.
Though a shared fetish might facilitate a deeper connection, it can also lead to a separation if your partner is unaware of what turns you on or what you fantasize about during sexual encounters. L, a second woman with this desire, revealed that she told her present partner about her fetish for sneezes during allergy season in the spring.
“She had just recovered from a nasty cold, and we had reached a level of intimacy where I felt odd being so aroused and unable to tell her or act on it,” L explained. “I had wanted to tell her for a while, but I was afraid because I had never told a sexual partner before. I was concerned that I would be viewed as dirty, due to germs, or weird, because I was engaging in sexual activity without others knowing.”
Both clients I spoke with felt more comfortable with their fetish after mustering the confidence to be open about their needs. “I once carried a great deal of shame. I’ve been putting effort on that. Being able to freely and openly explore my desire with my partner has been a great help in gaining acceptance for it. She has been so supportive and such a wonderful sport,” L remarked.
P too felt embarrassment prior to discussing her fetish openly, but coming up to her boyfriend has helped. She added, “I absorbed, accepted, and hid my fetish for the bulk of my life; it’s been a long and rewarding process to gently transform that relationship to my own preferences.”
It may be immensely rewarding to share your fetish with individuals who are accepting and sex-affirming. If you are not yet ready to share with a partner, consider speaking with a sex-positive coach, such as me, or searching for an online support group where you may discuss your experiences. Possibly L said it best. “Uniqueness is attractive, and confidence is sexy. Own it! Start by informing someone you know to be receptive and then proceed from there. Baby steps are acceptable; be patient “She stated,
