My spouse and I ended up having two weddings despite the fact that we never intended to marry.
Vito and I got engaged in Italy, where he was born and raised and where we were living at the time. I am a native New Yorker and a true city gal.
I’ve never been able to visualize a traditional wedding, with the large white princess gown and the tiered cake. I could not even imagine myself walking down the aisle. A large, extravagant wedding was neither my style nor my husband’s.
We wanted to celebrate in a manner that felt natural to us and highlighted what was most significant: our love. We also wished to recognize our unique backgrounds.
Therefore, we chose to have two weddings.
We were initially married in New York.
On March 8, 2017, our first wedding was place in New York City. It was simple, yet filled with love, which was precisely what we desired.
The day was exceptionally warm, and the sun was out. I didn’t want to purchase a new dress for the event, but I did want to wear something that represented the “old me” and my life in New York, so I wore a white polyester halter dress from Forever 21 and brown leather boots.
We were married at the Queens city hall with only my parents as witnesses. It was the ideal informal New York wedding, especially since our officiant, a petite, spirited older woman, embodied old-school New York. Following the ceremony, we celebrated with my parents over lunch at a tiny Italian restaurant in Queens, complete with a bottle of prosecco.
The following week, we threw a dinner at my favorite restaurant, Frost, in Williamsburg, which was also my late grandmother Nettie’s favorite restaurant. It was a way for me to pay tribute to one of the most significant persons in my life, and it felt as if she were present on our special day.
We were served spaghetti with red sauce and eggplant Parmesan, and red wine flowed freely. It was a tiny, intimate occasion, with only my parents and a handful of close friends in attendance, full with laughing and smiles. It brought back memories of my childhood, which was precisely what I desired. It was a chance for me to exhibit my new husband my former self.
Then we were wed in Italy.
Later that summer, we celebrated with a wedding on a local working farm or agriturismo in Italy. The site was breathtaking, with mountain vistas to keep us company.
We had our party in the great outdoors. We were surrounded by friends and my husband’s family; there were perhaps forty of us. Throughout the night, we danced barefoot to traditional Italian folk music.
It was the ideal way to welcome me to my new married life in Italy, as it was a traditional Italian wedding in the countryside. I grew up in New York surrounded by skyscrapers and the constant hum of automobiles. Here, we would enjoy a more tranquil country lifestyle.
Our weddings still make me grin
Even now, the memory of our two weddings brings a smile to my face. They were casual, intimate, and, most importantly, full with laughter and love, despite their differences.
I love that my husband and I essentially had separate weddings. Our New York wedding was a celebration of my past and a farewell to my previous existence. Our Italian wedding was the ideal way for my husband and I to begin our life together while honoring his heritage and paying tribute to the lovely nation that would become our home.
We’ve been married for nearly six years, and our love continues to grow and strengthen, aided no doubt by the love we brought into the world together, Lucia-Antonia.
