At 41, Jana Hocking says she has become familiar with the moment people decide there must be a hidden problem behind her single status.
It often begins with a simple question about whether she has ever been married.
When the answer is no, the reaction is almost predictable: a sympathetic look, a tilted head and a reassuring reminder that “there is still time” — even though she never asked for comfort.
Soon after, the familiar questions follow. Is she being too selective? Is she putting herself out there enough? Is she afraid of ending up alone?
One relative even asked the question many single women dread: whether she might actually be attracted to women.
Her answer was simple — no. The issue, she admits, is that her history with men has simply been filled with poor choices.
The Emotional Weight of Being Single in Your 40s
Although Jana can usually laugh off the comments, she admits there are moments when the pressure becomes harder to ignore.
Birthdays, wedding invitations and seeing friends move into new chapters can trigger moments of doubt.
The feeling becomes even stronger when friends are celebrating second marriages while she has yet to find a first husband.
She sometimes finds herself wondering whether she should have stayed with an unsuitable ex just to avoid being alone.
But looking back at those relationships quickly reminds her why leaving was the right decision.
One former partner even mocked her after their breakup, joking that she would end up living with cats.
Her response? She would rather have cats than settle for the wrong person.
Why Mel C’s Marriage Brought Unexpected Comfort
Despite not wanting children and therefore not facing the same biological pressure some women experience, Jana admits there is still a quiet sense of embarrassment attached to being the last single person in her friendship group.
Society still often presents marriage as a major milestone that marks a woman’s transition into a “proper” adult life.
That is why seeing former Spice Girl Mel C marry for the first time at 52 gave Jana an unexpected feeling of hope.
Instead of jealousy, she felt relief.
The wedding became proof that love does not have an expiry date and that being single later in life does not mean someone has missed their chance.
A Love Story That Started Later Than Expected
Mel C met Australian model Chris Dingwall through the celebrity dating app Raya when she was 49.
Before meeting him, the singer had openly suggested she no longer expected to find a partner and had reached a point where she thought she might never want a relationship again.
Jana says that feeling is familiar to many women who have experienced modern dating, particularly after endless app conversations with disappointing matches and men whose idea of personality is simply claiming they enjoy “banter.”
Then came Chris — someone Mel C has described as gentle and supportive.
For Jana, that description now sounds far more appealing than it once would have.
At 21, she might have wanted excitement and unpredictability.
At 41, she says a kind man who respects boundaries and brings peace feels far more valuable.
Finding Love Without Needing to Be Rescued
One of the things Jana admires most about Mel C’s relationship is that Chris did not arrive to “fix” her life.
Mel C already had a successful career, friendships and a complete identity before meeting him.
He became someone who added happiness rather than someone who completed something missing.
Jana believes that is a healthier reason to choose marriage — because you genuinely enjoy having someone beside you, not because you feel incomplete without them.
The Advantage of Waiting for the Right Person
Jana argues that many people make life-changing relationship decisions when they are young and still learning what they truly need from a partner.
She admits it took her years to stop confusing red flags with attraction and to understand that excitement does not always equal compatibility.
She has watched friends marry the charismatic, unpredictable man only to later discover that the same qualities that seemed thrilling could become painful inside a marriage.
By contrast, someone finding love later in life may have a clearer idea of what qualities actually matter.
The Reality Behind the Perfect Wedding Dream
Jana also believes that getting married later can mean avoiding some of the pressure attached to creating a perfect wedding fantasy.
After attending countless weddings, she knows the flowers eventually disappear, the celebrations end and the expensive details become memories stored away.
The person standing beside you is the part that remains.
While some couples meet young and stay happily married for decades, Jana describes those relationships as rare examples rather than the standard everyone should follow.
Many people follow society’s expected timeline only to realise later that they chose a partner because of fear, pressure or convenience.
Refusing to Settle for the Wrong Relationship
For years, Jana questioned whether she should have accepted a relationship simply because someone was available.
But seeing Mel C happily marry in her 50s reminded her that waiting was not necessarily a mistake.
She does not plan to rush into a relationship just to change her marital status.
She will continue dating, even if that means occasionally deleting dating apps in frustration — and perhaps eventually welcoming a cat into her home.
But she no longer feels like she has missed the opportunity for love.
Mel C found her husband at 49.
At 41, Jana says she may not be behind after all — she might simply still be on her way.
