A Woman’s 35-Year Quest for Orgasm Reveals Silent Struggles in a Changing Sexual Landscape

The Unexpected Honeymoon Experience:

Whatever activities I imagined I’d be doing on my honeymoon, phoning my mum in floods of tears wasn’t one of them.

But my husband Alan and I had just consummated our marriage — and it had been a huge disappointment.

Far from sensuous and thrilling, it was a blink-and-you’ll-miss-it perfunctory affair.

In 1978, Carole Baker recounts her honeymoon disappointment, marking the beginning of a 35-year marriage without a single orgasm.

Despite five children, Carole reveals her unfulfilled sexual journey.

The ‘Orgasm’ Gap and Female Silence:

In a time of sexual liberation, Carole sheds light on the often-overlooked reality of women faking orgasms.

The ‘orgasm gap’ persists, with fewer than 50% of women climaxing during intercourse compared to 90% of men.

The silence around female sexual gratification remains a taboo, especially for older women.

Cultural Constraints and Early Experiences:

Carole’s limited knowledge of sex stemmed from a conservative upbringing in the Welsh valleys and a Roman Catholic boarding school.

Her sexual awakening came later in life, discovering the concept of female orgasms in her 30s.

The Dutiful Wife and Silent Endurance:

Raised with traditional views on a wife’s duty, Carole navigated her sexual life in the ’70s, where a woman’s enjoyment was often secondary.

Despite being devoted to her husband, she never experienced an orgasm in her marriage.

Late-Life Exploration and Acceptance:

Carole’s pursuit of orgasm intensified in her 50s, driven by changing attitudes and the influence of the Fifty Shades of Grey trilogy.

While never achieving climax, she embraced a more exciting sex life with her husband until his death in 2015.

Post-Widowhood Challenges:

After losing her husband, Carole entered a new relationship, navigating sexual intimacy with a different partner.

The quest for orgasm remained unspoken, reflecting the enduring challenge women face in prioritizing their pleasure.

Reflections on Liberation and Hope:

At 64, Carole envisions a future where women’s pleasure is valued equally. While too busy for a new partner now, she contemplates the possibility of a relationship with a younger, more understanding man who could guide her on a path of sexual fulfillment.

The journey continues, filled with hope and a call for societal change.

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