Queen Camilla has praised documentary maker and influencer Zara McDermott for speaking publicly about her experience of revenge porn, describing survivors of domestic abuse as the “real heroes” in efforts to end violence against women and girls.
The Queen made the remarks during the Ending Violence Against Women and Girls Summit at Marlborough College in Wiltshire, where she met McDermott and highlighted the growing challenges posed by online abuse.
McDermott, who is in a relationship with former One Direction singer Louis Tomlinson, has become an advocate for domestic abuse survivors after intimate images of her were shared without her consent on two occasions.
One incident occurred when she was 14, while another took place during her appearance on Love Island in 2018.
During their meeting, Camilla told McDermott: “It’s people like you who speak out…”
McDermott, who is also an ambassador for Refuge, said she believed her experiences could be used positively to help others.
“Especially in my world, the world of social media and the digital space, we have so much power to connect with people, speak to them directly,” she said.
“I believe that every single person who has a platform has a responsibility to be positive with it.”
Queen Warns That Technology Is Changing the Face of Abuse
McDermott also highlighted the difficulties women face in recognising and responding to abuse in the digital age, describing the issue as “abuse in our pocket”.
She said mobile phones and online platforms had introduced new challenges, particularly as the boundaries between physical and digital abuse increasingly overlap.
“Technology has brought a whole new dimension to the issue. Women are struggling to identify whether they are being abused or not,” she said.
“Phones bring a new raft of problems, particularly where the lines between the physical and the online world blur.
The face of abuse is changing. But we need to treat them the same.”
McDermott argued that telling women to delete content or block abusive individuals placed the responsibility on those experiencing abuse rather than the perpetrators.
“We need to catch up, essentially,” she said.
“Women are told ‘well just delete it, block them’. But why should we have to make ourselves so much smaller. It is putting pressure on the victim, not the perpetrator.”
Camilla Identifies Survivors as the Real Heroes
The Queen delivered an impromptu speech lasting almost five minutes after listening to presentations at the summit.
She praised survivors who had shared their experiences publicly and described their willingness to speak as central to efforts to tackle domestic abuse.
Camilla said her commitment to the cause had been strengthened by a visit to the charity SafeLives, where she heard the best friend of Jo Simpson recount the circumstances surrounding her death at the hands of her abusive estranged husband.
She praised Hetti Barkworth Nanton CBE, who is now chair of the board at Refuge, for speaking about the case.
“It was one of the bravest things I’ve ever seen,” the Queen said.
“As her best friend, she got up with such dignity and told this horrific story. She is one of the real heroes of this cause.”
Camilla also commended Simpson’s mother, Diana Parkes, who addressed the summit.
“She is a fantastic lady,” the Queen said, noting that Parkes had continued to speak publicly about her daughter’s death and help others despite her loss.
“She survived the ordeal and she survived it by helping others and stopping others from suffering the same fate,” Camilla added.
Queen Calls for Greater Recognition of Survivors
Camilla said she had visited organisations supporting victims and survivors around the world and believed the UK was doing more than other countries to address domestic abuse.
As a resident of Wiltshire, she also expressed admiration for the county’s work to combat violence against women and girls.
“I want to say a huge thanks to you all and to everyone,” she said.
“I want to say the real heroes are the survivors. Not the victims.”
The Queen praised those who came forward to describe their experiences, acknowledging the difficulty of discussing traumatic events in front of an audience.
“It’s terrifying to get up onto a platform and talk about something so horrific, the things that have happened to them, to stand in front of an audience and talk I just want to applaud them,” she said.
Camilla added that greater openness could help end the silence that had historically surrounded domestic abuse.
“Talking is what we have to do. Domestic abuse was a taboo subject and nobody talked about it. It was hush hush. Now people are getting up and talking about it. We might be able to put an end to it.”
Lady Lansdowne Establishes Wiltshire Coalition
The summit was organised by Queen’s Companion Lady Lansdowne, one of Camilla’s assistants and chair of the Wiltshire branch of the organisation.
She said the Queen’s work to combat violence against women had helped inspire her to establish the initiative.
Lady Lansdowne said the coalition aimed to improve protection for women and girls across Wiltshire by bringing together organisations and individuals working in different areas of the issue.
“We wanted Wiltshire to be better at protecting women and girls,” she said.
She stressed that violence against women and girls could not be addressed by a single organisation or sector, adding that responsibility extended beyond government, the police and charities to society as a whole.
“The responsibility belongs to all of us,” she said.
“This is what this coalition and today’s summit is about. It’s about bringing people together, who may encounter this issue from very different perspectives, and asking, ‘What more can we achieve if we work together?’”
Summit Examines Gaps in Support and Protection
Lady Lansdowne said technology was increasingly being used to facilitate abuse, including within homes where women and girls should feel safe.
Although she recognised the work already taking place in Wiltshire, she said gaps remained in the support available to survivors.
“There are millions of women who do not feel safe,” she said.
“There are still victims who struggle to be heard, believed, and are then let down.
There are too many times when the system does not join up around the person who needs it most, and then they are failed.”
She said the coalition was intended to encourage cooperation, shared learning and practical action rather than create another forum for discussion.
Lady Lansdowne said the summit would examine policing, prevention, national efforts to tackle violence and emerging forms of abuse experienced by women and girls.
Participants would also hear from people directly affected by the issues.
She said the central question for the initiative was whether its work would make women and girls safer, adding that organisations should consider how they could work differently when gaps in protection were identified.
Politicians and Domestic Abuse Officials Address Summit
Camilla attended speeches by Jess Phillips MP and Dame Nicole Jacobs, the Domestic Abuse Commissioner for England and Wales, who discussed plans to halve violence against women and girls nationally.
The gathering brought together participants with different perspectives on preventing abuse and supporting survivors.
Lady Lansdowne said she hoped attendees would discuss both successful approaches and areas where existing systems were failing, with the aim of identifying opportunities for stronger cooperation.
She described the ambition as challenging but said she believed the people gathered at the summit could work together to achieve it.
