Have you ever found yourself unexpectedly drawn to something unusual in a way that stirs feelings of arousal?
You might not be alone—it could be a fetish.
According to sex coach Marie Morice, many people who enjoy sex experience at least one fetish in their lifetime.
In an exclusive interview, Morice explains, “Fetishes are a form of sexual desire where gratification is strongly tied to a specific object, activity, or a part of the body that isn’t typically sexual, like feet or hands.”
Common Fetishes and Differences Between Genders
One of the most frequently discussed fetishes, especially for men, revolves around feet and related items like shoes and socks.
But fetishes can range widely, from admiration of muscles or tattoos to specific clothing items like pantyhose.
Morice categorizes fetishes into four groups: visual, sensual, experiential, and fantasy, noting that women are often more drawn to the experiential and fantasy categories.
A study from 2015, involving 1,500 participants, highlighted some key differences between men’s and women’s fantasies.
Women are more likely to imagine being submissive, with 30-60 percent fantasizing about being spanked, tied up, or dominated.
Men, on the other hand, lean towards dominant fantasies, with 40-60 percent preferring to be in control.
From the United Nations to Sex Therapy
Morice’s career path is unique.
After seven years at the United Nations in New York, she made a dramatic shift, retraining as a sex therapist.
She now helps clients explore a wide variety of fetishes, from being wrapped in plastic to incorporating food and even bodily fluids into their sexual experiences.
“When it comes to sexuality, there’s no such thing as ‘normal,’” Morice says.
“Based on what I’ve seen, many people have some non-traditional sexual expression.
They might not realize it or feel too shy to embrace it.”
What Research Says About Fetishes
Research on fetishes has provided some fascinating insights.
In a 1980 study by Gosselin and Wilson, feet, hands, and hair were found to be the most common body parts associated with fetishes, while shoes, gloves, and soiled underwear were frequent fetish objects.
The research also suggests that heterosexual men often desire feminine items like high heels or lingerie, while homosexual men tend to focus on more masculine objects.
Morice points to a University of Bologna study, which found that 30 percent of fetishes are tied to body parts, followed by objects related to those body parts, like shoes or gloves.
Interestingly, some fetishes exist only in thought, with fantasies playing a major role.
Where Do Fetishes Come From?
The origin of fetishes is still up for debate, but Morice believes they often begin in childhood.
Some research suggests that early imprinting or conditioning experiences—such as pairing sexual excitement with non-sexual objects—may be the trigger.
Trauma or emotionally charged experiences can also play a role, leaving lasting sensory memories connected to certain objects or body parts.
However, Morice notes that much of the research on fetishes has limitations, often relying on small sample sizes or focusing on psychiatric patients, which can skew the results.
Embracing or Treating Fetishes?
Morice believes that many of us have fetishes, but some may choose not to acknowledge or indulge in them.
Cultural differences also play a role, as what is taboo in one society may be widely accepted in another.
For those looking to manage unwanted fetishes, cognitive behavioral therapy can be an effective treatment, helping individuals retrain their thoughts.
But for Morice, the most important message is one of non-judgment.
“As a clinical sexologist, it’s my job to create a safe space for people to express their desires without fear or shame,” she says.
“There is no ‘normal’ when it comes to sexuality, and the key is to explore in a healthy and consensual way.”
TDPel Media
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