You might never guess that James Sexton — New York’s go-to guy for divorces — could also be one of the biggest champions for saving marriages.
But that’s exactly what makes his perspective so interesting.
After decades dealing with heartbreak, betrayal, and the “she took everything” kind of splits, he’s now flipping the script on how we think about prenups.
From Divorce Court to Marriage Counseling
Last year, Sexton made waves when he declared that 56 percent of marriages end in divorce, and another 20 percent are just miserable to the point of agony.
That’s 76 percent of couples who either don’t make it or wish they hadn’t tied the knot.
At first, you might think, “Is this guy trying to scare people away from marriage?” But no — he’s actually pointing us to a way we might beat those odds.
The Surprising Power of a Prenup
Brace yourself — it’s about prenups. The very word that makes many romantics cringe. But according to Sexton, a prenup is not about expecting failure or planning for a messy breakup. Instead, it’s one of the best signs of a healthy, successful marriage.
He’s done thousands of prenups in his 25 years, and guess how many ended in divorce? Only five.
Out of thousands. That’s way better than most love stories in Hollywood.
More Than Just Legal Paperwork
Sexton explains that prenups are usually a surprisingly positive experience for couples.
Far from being cold or cynical, they’re a chance to build emotional and financial transparency.
“A prenup is a statement of love,” he says. “It says, I care about you enough to protect you — even from what I might become in the future.”
Think about that for a second. Instead of expecting things to go wrong, you’re showing a deep level of care and commitment by creating a safety net.
Wild Prenup Clauses You Have to Hear to Believe
Curious about the craziest prenups Sexton has seen? You’re in for a ride.
There was a case where the bride’s weight was a condition — she had to stay within a certain range before and after the marriage.
Yeah, really. Talk about controlling. You can imagine the logistics around that one.
Then there are the infidelity clauses. Some couples get super specific about what counts as cheating, how to prove it, and what the financial fallout looks like.
One woman had a prenup that gave her a $1.5 million house if her husband stepped out.
You could practically see her rooting for him to slip up!
When Prenups Get Creative
Another standout: a yoga instructor who married a Wall Street guy brought no money to the table, but her prenup was designed to protect her in style.
Signing bonuses, luxury babymoons costing over $100k each, strict gift rules for her family, and a wardrobe budget that would make Carrie Bradshaw jealous.
Sexton jokes, “I wanted to tell her, this isn’t an Uber Eats menu!” But hey, it worked.
Oh, and he’s seen “sexual minimums” clauses too. No, you can’t legally force intimacy, but couples sometimes tie financial incentives to how often they… you know.
What Prenups Really Reveal About Couples
Beyond the wild demands, these prenups often expose something deeper: fear and control.
Sexton says you can tell when someone’s terrified to say no in their relationship just by reading these contracts.
But here’s the thing: he believes prenups are like couples therapy in disguise.
Prenups Force Honest Conversations
These agreements make couples talk honestly about their expectations, values, and what they truly owe each other. It’s not just about money — it’s about unpacking the emotional and financial ecosystem of the relationship.
In fact, the best prenups follow a “Yours, Mine, and Ours” plan — keeping individual assets separate, splitting shared assets fairly, and encouraging ongoing dialogue.
“It’s not control, it’s respect,” Sexton says. “It’s emotional maturity, and that’s sexy.”
How to Bring Up Prenups Without Killing the Romance
But what if the conversation feels awkward? Sexton’s blunt: “If you can’t have tough talks with your partner, maybe you shouldn’t get married.”
Harsh, but fair. A prenup is a litmus test — can you be honest, disagree without fear, and still feel safe?
Prenups Are Radical Intimacy
Sexton sums it up perfectly: “A prenup isn’t just protection.
It’s radical intimacy. Being emotionally and financially naked with someone.
Saying: these are my fears, values, and boundaries — and I trust you with them.”
In a world where the state decides the rules of marriage, a prenup lets couples write their own love contract.
So next time someone sneers at prenups, just pour them a glass of wine and say, “Actually, it’s the most grown-up love letter you can write.”
Who knew legal documents could be so romantic?