A woman has described how her relationship with a married man ended after she discovered he continued to have sex with his wife, despite their affair.
Emma Morris said she had been involved with Ben, whose name has been changed, for three months when he revealed during a dinner date that his marriage remained sexually active.
She had assumed that because he was sleeping with her, he was no longer intimate with his wife. His admission left her feeling hurt and questioning the nature of their relationship.
Morris said the revelation made her feel as though he was cheating on her, although she was the woman having an affair with a married man.
How the Relationship Began
Morris was 35, single and not looking for a serious relationship when she met Ben at a work dinner.
She said she had enjoyed a fulfilling life and was financially comfortable working as an executive assistant. Although she had experienced several long-term relationships in her twenties, she was not actively searching for a partner.
Ben, who was around her age, attracted her immediately. They exchanged contact details after meeting, despite his wife’s name having come up during their conversation.
He contacted her within two days, and they arranged to meet at an oyster bar later that week. Morris described their chemistry as immediate.
After several dates, they slept together in a hotel. They subsequently exchanged messages every day and began meeting at least once a week, often during weekends.
Married Man Kept His Affair Hidden
According to Morris, Ben told his wife he was spending time with friends or travelling for work whenever he met her.
She knew he had been married for five years and described his wife as glamorous and wealthy, but said they rarely discussed her.
Morris admitted that she did not initially feel guilty about the affair. She believed the arrangement was temporary and expected that one of them would eventually end it without affecting his marriage.
She also said she had no expectations of Ben leaving his wife and enjoyed the relationship’s sexual chemistry, alongside gifts that included jewellery.
The couple did not have children, which Morris said made it easier for her to avoid thinking about the effect the affair might have on his family.
Wife’s Sexual Relationship With Ben Sparks Heartbreak
The situation changed during a dinner three months into the affair when Ben mentioned that his wife had a strong sexual appetite.
Morris interpreted his comments as confirmation that he was continuing to have sex with his wife.
She described the discovery as deeply upsetting, saying it felt like a dagger to her heart. Although she tried to conceal her reaction by smiling and laughing, she began questioning why she had expected their relationship to be exclusive.
Ben had never promised her exclusivity, and she acknowledged that he had made no commitment to stop being intimate with his wife.
The admission nevertheless left her feeling used and forced her to confront the reality of their arrangement.
Morris Took Another Three Months to End the Affair
Although the revelation made her realise she could not continue the relationship, Morris remained involved with Ben for another three months.
She said their relationship was exciting and that they were highly compatible sexually, making it difficult to walk away immediately.
When she eventually ended things, she did not explain that his continued sexual relationship with his wife had upset her.
Instead, she told him she was seeing someone else because she did not want him to think she was foolish for expecting something different from an arrangement he had never described as exclusive.
Ben was more upset than she had anticipated and attempted to persuade her to continue seeing him. However, they have not met again since the breakup.
Reflecting on the Affair 12 Years Later
Morris said she does not know whether Ben’s wife was aware of his affairs or whether the couple had an open relationship. She said she doubted that his wife knew about her.
She now advises women considering relationships with married men to recognise that their partners may continue having sex with their wives, regardless of the affair.
Morris said women who are uncomfortable with that possibility should leave rather than expect the married partner to become exclusive.
Twelve years after ending her relationship with Ben, she said she has not become involved with another married man.
She is currently single and says she now wants a relationship based on complete monogamy, having experienced what it felt like to be in a position similar to that of a betrayed wife.
The account was told to Samantha Brick. Ben’s name was changed.
