Last month, Dave Pelzer shared a fun day out with his six-year-old grandson, SJ, at a pumpkin patch in Guerneville, California.
“We went down a ‘super-super’ slide, rode a little toy train, and SJ fed the animals,” Pelzer recalls over Zoom from his hometown.
When his son Stephen asked if he had this much energy at six, Pelzer jokingly reminded him, “Remember: I was living in a basement,” and the two shared a laugh over the dark humor.
A Childhood Marked by Survival
Pelzer, now 64, rose to fame with his 1995 memoir A Child Called ‘It’, which this year marks its 30th anniversary.
The book details the horrific abuse he endured at the hands of his alcoholic mother, Catherine Roerva Pelzer, who forced him to live in the basement, starved him, and subjected him to unimaginable cruelty.
He was stabbed, made to lie in ice-cold baths, forced to wear filthy clothes, and at one point even made to eat his own vomit.
She refused to call him Dave, instead naming him “It.”
Family Dynamics and Early Life
Pelzer was the second-eldest of five boys, but uniquely singled out by his mother’s abuse.
His father, Stephen, a fireman, was often absent or indifferent, leaving Pelzer to fend for himself until teachers intervened and he was placed in foster care at age 12.
In 1970s California, child-abuse laws were weak; neither parent faced charges, and Pelzer’s brothers remained with their mother.
Literary Breakthrough and Success
When Pelzer published A Child Called ‘It’ at 34, it became an instant hit.
He appeared on Oprah, spent six years on The New York Times bestseller list, and when released in the UK in 2000, it quickly topped charts.
By 2008, the book had sold over a million copies in Britain alone.
He went on to write eight more books exploring his childhood and its aftermath.
Motivational Work and Community Involvement
Beyond writing, Pelzer has dedicated himself to public speaking, often charging tens of thousands for in-person appearances, though he also offers talks at children’s institutes for free.
He recently spent two hours with abused and neglected students, describing himself as an “uncle/cheerleader” and encouraging them to overcome adversity.
Personal Reflections and Family Relationships
Pelzer maintains complex feelings about his parents.
He has forgiven his mother, recognizing the cycle of abuse she experienced, but does not forgive his father for failing to protect him.
He celebrates two birthdays each year: his actual birth date and “Rescue Day,” marking the day he was removed from his mother’s care.
Pelzer remains close to his son Stephen and grandson SJ, while his relationships with his siblings have been shaped by trauma.
His younger brother Richard, who endured abuse after Dave entered foster care, tragically took his own life in 2019.
Life Lessons and Simple Pleasures
Despite his past, Pelzer has built a life filled with purpose and small joys.
He volunteers locally, enjoys cooking, and treasures simple routines like “clean sheet Fridays,” a ritual rooted in memories of past trauma.
He even cherishes his mother’s legacy in the kitchen, recalling her green pasta recipe fondly.
Looking Ahead With Gratitude
As he approaches 65, Pelzer focuses on being a good grandfather, mentoring youth, and helping the community.
Reflecting on his journey, he says, “How many people can say they wrote the number-one book in the world? Plus I have clean sheets once a week. What more could I want?”
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