Wythenshawe Vets aren’t your typical Sunday League side.
With former Premier League stars gracing the pitch, their latest demolition job against South Liverpool has set tongues wagging across Cheshire.
A 13-0 victory saw the ex-pros continue their flawless start to the season, with fans and aspiring players calling up Stephen Ireland non-stop for a chance to join the fun.
Star-Studded Lineup Shines
The midfield featured Danny Drinkwater, ex-Chelsea and Leicester City ace, while former Wigan defender Maynor Figueroa marshalled the backline.
Up front, George Boyd and Papiss Cisse caused chaos for the hapless South Liverpool defence.
Cisse, already infamous for scoring six on debut, outdid himself again with seven second-half goals, bringing his total to 13 in just two games.
Ireland, who played alongside these legends, admitted his phone “hasn’t stopped” ringing with inquiries from people desperate to join.
“I just want to be careful not to bring too many people,” he said. “We want a mix of proper old vets and maybe four or five pros each time.
But it’s great fun, even as a midweek incentive to prepare.”
Papiss Cisse: The Late Arrival
If there’s one constant in Wythenshawe’s rise, it’s Papiss Cisse’s punctuality issues.
The former Newcastle striker strolled in late, much to the amusement of his teammates
“You owe us six goals now, Pap!” they teased — a conservative estimate for someone who went on to net seven more.
His grin never faded, even when a ball came dangerously close to a Lamborghini parked by the clubhouse, or when a penalty hit the post.
A Crowd-Pleasing Affair
Sunday’s clash drew a crowd of 800, eager to see familiar faces back in action.
There was plenty of entertainment beyond the scoreline — from a strict referee enforcing an eight-second goal-kick rule, to a linesman spotted vaping, and South Liverpool sneaking in a couple of goals while down to nine men before the referee realised.
For South Liverpool, a squad of electricians, plumbers, and tradesmen, it was a chance to measure themselves against legends.
Player-coach Hilel Alkanshaly gave as good as he got, but even he admitted some of the pros’ experience and fitness were on another level.
From Tuesday Night Chaos to Sunday Dominance
The Wythenshawe Vets story began during lockdown, when Ireland, Blake Norton, and other ex-pros started informal nine-a-side matches to stay active.
Those sessions snowballed into Tuesday night games with a rolling cast of Premier League veterans, and soon enough, the Sunday League side was transformed.
Names like Ravel Morrison, Danny Simpson, Phil Bardsley, Dale Stephens, Glenn Whelan, Joleon Lescott, Jefferson Montero, and more joined the fun.
For just £15 a month, players secured a spot on a team now considered unstoppable in the Cheshire Vets Premier Division.
“It gets a bit lively when the scores are tight and everyone wants to avoid losing their tenner,” Norton joked.
Fun, Fierce, and Focused
Despite the star power, the team hasn’t lost the Sunday League spirit.
There’s a laugh, a pint after the match, and the enjoyment of football played purely for fun — though the standard on the pitch is anything but casual.
Drinkwater summed it up: “You walk in in your casuals, have a laugh, do a 10-minute warm-up, finish the match, and have a pint. It’s as good as it’s going to get really.”
Eye on the Treble
Manager Kieran Megran has big ambitions this season: the Vets League, Lancashire Cup, and Manchester Cup.
“It’s like going to the takeaway — you see what’s available and decide who we need,” he said.
“I’ve never been in a situation like this before but we’re going to run with it as a club and hopefully win the Treble.”
With rumors of Wayne Rooney possibly lacing up for a game and UFC’s Conor McGregor arranging a match in Dublin, Wythenshawe Vets are redefining Sunday League football.
It’s part nostalgia, part spectacle, and all football — and they’re just getting started.
Football With a Twist
From Cisse’s late arrivals to insane goal hauls, from refereeing quirks to celebrity interest, Wythenshawe Vets have taken grassroots football to a level that’s hard to believe.
Sunday League has never looked this star-studded, competitive, or downright entertaining.
And with the Treble in sight, the Cheshire Vets Premier Division might just become the hottest ticket in town.