What started as a classroom joke has now turned into a headline-grabbing career in Washington.
Edward Coristine, a 19-year-old with an unusual nickname and an even more unusual resume, is making waves inside the federal government.
And yes, he’s already rubbing shoulders with major power players — thanks to his ties with none other than Elon Musk.
The Teenager Behind the Nickname “Big Balls”
Edward Coristine — a Rye Country Day School alum from Westchester County — isn’t your average government advisor.
Nicknamed “Big Balls” after scribbling a phallic doodle in math class (which a teacher read aloud to everyone), Coristine went on to own the name by boldly using it as his LinkedIn handle.
Why?
In his words: “People on LinkedIn take themselves super seriously, and I wanted to be the opposite.”
He admits he never thought anyone would actually notice.
They did.
Taking On Waste with Tech at DOGE
Despite the lighthearted backstory, Coristine’s job is serious.
He works as a senior adviser at the State Department’s Bureau of Diplomatic Technology and the Office of Personnel Management, where he helps root out inefficiencies and fraud in the federal system.
“There’s no clear tracking of where millions of dollars in federal payments go,” he explained in a roundtable discussion with Jesse Watters on Fox News.
He and his team are diving into outdated government systems, where huge sums — like $20 million line items — often go undocumented or unverified.
“It’s a huge concern,” Coristine said.
“There are no real checks or accountability in place.
And if you work in government, there’s little incentive to care about that.”
Musk’s Final Roundtable and a Look Back
The interview came as Elon Musk officially steps back from his role at the White House.
The roundtable aired as part of the closing chapter of his government stint, where Musk and his staff — including Coristine — reflected on their work combating waste.
Among their claims: the Social Security Administration was sending checks to people allegedly over 120 years old, and the Small Business Administration handed out hundreds of millions in loans to deceased individuals.
“These people’s birthdates couldn’t be real,” Musk said.
“If you’re over 115 in the system, it’s almost certainly fake.”
The Pea Problem in Guatemala and Other Strange Spending
Musk also spotlighted how American taxpayer dollars often go to obscure causes abroad.
He pointed to the Inter-America Foundation, which he says receives $50 million a year for projects like improving Peruvian farming or marketing peas in Guatemala.
But only 58% of that money, he claimed, actually reaches the people it’s meant to help.
“Most of it stays in D.C. — on management, travel, and red tape,” Musk said.
“Even if you support alpaca farmers in Peru, your money probably isn’t making it to them.”
A Cave Full of Paperwork and a Government Stuck in the Past
Another DOGE team member described visiting a federal “retirement cave” in Pennsylvania — a literal cave where retirement records are still processed by hand.
For the group, it’s a symbol of just how outdated and inefficient the U.S. government remains, and why overhauling its tech systems is long overdue.
The Mission Continues Without Musk
Although Musk is stepping away, his team is staying on.
Coristine and others working out of the Eisenhower Executive Office Building say the mission is far from over.
“This is a long-term project,” Musk noted.
“If we stop paying attention, waste and fraud will just flood back in.”