Let’s be real—when people hear about women paying for sex, the reactions are usually full of disbelief, especially from men.
“Why would a woman ever need to pay for it?” they ask. But that question completely misses the point.
For many women, it’s not about getting access to sex—it’s about taking control of it.
Whether it’s to explore desires without judgment, avoid the minefield of dating apps, or skip emotional entanglements, some women are opting to pay for intimacy.
And it’s not as rare as people might think.
When author Tracey Cox asked women to share their experiences, the responses came flooding in.
Here are three candid stories that break the stereotypes wide open.
“Paying for Sex Feels Like Respecting My Marriage—Because I Call the Shots”
Sophia, 41, is a married mother of one and a thriving businesswoman.
For the past six years, she’s been using male escorts while traveling for work.
Her life is demanding—frequent travel, high pressure, and minimal downtime.
“I need sex to function well,” she admits
. “It relaxes me more than anything else, and it doesn’t mess with my performance the next day.”
A fellow female executive introduced her to an escort agency, and the rest is history.
“I’d never thought about hiring a man for sex.
I’ve never struggled to find it when I wanted,” she says. “But this gave me something different—control.”
Sophia emphasizes that she still respects and loves her husband.
Her decision to hire escorts is, in her eyes, a way to keep that relationship safe while meeting her own needs during solo business trips.
She chooses well-vetted, intelligent men through a premium agency.
“They ask what I want. I’m clear: lots of oral, me on top, some toys. If they need direction, I give it.” And when it’s over? “I make sure they leave quickly.
I don’t want to bond or repeat the experience. I once got addicted to a regular—his oral was obscene—but I hated that I was starting to feel something. So now it’s a strict one-and-done.”
Sophia doesn’t feel guilty. Only two people in her life know what she does, and she says it’s safe, secret, and gives her total autonomy.
“I Wanted Wild Sex Without Hurting My Husband—So I Hired It”
Diana, 46, has been married for 18 years. She only hired a male escort once—but it was a big moment for her.
After years of monogamy, she realized that while she loved her husband deeply, their sex life wasn’t satisfying. “I didn’t marry him for the sex.
I chose him for other amazing reasons. But I missed the wild, no-strings sex of my youth.”
She tried watching porn and considered cheating, but the risks were too high. So she opted for something else: a professional transaction.
“It felt like hiring a personal trainer—except he was helping with my sex life.”
Discretion was key. “A paid escort isn’t going to text you the next day or try to friend your husband on Facebook.”
Diana paid £250 and booked a hotel room for a day meet-up.
She checked him out via video chat first to make sure everything was legit.
During the experience, she felt powerful. “I was brutally honest.
I didn’t fake anything. It was like I became the man in the situation.”
But the high didn’t last. The guy seemed into her, but she suspected he’d taken Viagra.
“It made me wonder if he was faking it. Probably how guys feel when they hire sex workers.”
Though she felt physically satisfied, emotionally she felt… weird.
“Women don’t do this,” she thought. “Why did I?” She told one friend, was met with shock, and never mentioned it again. “Years later, I’m still not sure I’d recommend it.”
“I Hired a Male Escort So I Wouldn’t Look Like a Loser at My High School Reunion”
Holly, 36, didn’t set out to hire a male escort for sex.
For her, it was all about optics.
She had a big high school reunion coming up. Everyone else seemed to be married with kids—and she wasn’t.
Her best friend joked, “Why don’t you hire someone to go with you?” That joke turned into a plan.
She found a guy named Kieren online—tall, handsome, confident. His profile said he could blend into any social event. Perfect.
After a Zoom chat to confirm he looked like his photos, she agreed to the £250 fee.
“He made me feel like I was too good-looking to need an escort—but I knew that was part of the act. It still worked on me.”
On the night of the reunion, they walked in hand-in-hand. “Everyone turned to look.
We looked amazing together,” Holly recalls. “Suddenly the idea seemed brilliant.”
But things went sideways later. After the event, they shared a kiss in the cab. “I stupidly thought maybe he liked me.”
Back at her place, things escalated—but before sex, he reminded her, “You know this is extra, right?” She agreed, embarrassed and unsure how much it would cost.
The sex was mediocre, and the night ended up costing her £500.
“I felt completely duped. Like an idiot.
I misread the whole situation. It wasn’t romantic—it was business.”
Now in a healthy relationship with a daughter of her own, Holly says the experience made her determined to teach her child that being single isn’t something to be ashamed of.
“Men aren’t pitied for not having a partner. Why should women be?”
Why Women Pay for Sex Isn’t About the Sex at All
For these women, paying for sex wasn’t about desperation—it was about freedom.
Freedom from expectations, judgment, messy emotions, and societal pressure.
In a world where men have always had license to separate sex from intimacy, these women are simply flipping the script.
Their stories are complicated, raw, sometimes regretful—but also deeply human.
They challenge the idea that only men crave no-strings intimacy or that women can’t separate desire from love.
And maybe, just maybe, we need to start talking about that more.