Marrying into the Royal Family might sound like something out of a storybook, but the reality is far from simple.
Yes, tying the knot with a royal gets you in the door — but truly fitting in with “The Firm” takes patience, adaptation, and a willingness to learn a centuries-old system.
That’s something Meghan Markle discovered the hard way.
When she married Prince Harry in 2018, many hoped she would bring a fresh perspective to the monarchy.
Queen Elizabeth II certainly believed in her potential — so much so that she personally offered support to help Meghan adjust.
But not everyone wants help, even when it’s offered with the best of intentions.
The Queen’s Effort to Help Meghan Succeed
Just a month after the royal wedding, Meghan joined the Queen on an official engagement in Cheshire.
The outing was well-received, with both women sharing smiles and laughs, but it was clear to the Queen that Meghan’s transition from Hollywood to royal life would need more than a few shared appearances.
The Queen believed Meghan could be a powerful asset to the monarchy, but she also knew the Duchess would benefit from some guidance.
So she suggested someone closer in age and with shared life experience — Sophie, the Duchess of Edinburgh (formerly the Countess of Wessex).
Why Sophie Was the Ideal Mentor
Sophie, who married Prince Edward, wasn’t born into royalty either.
Her father was a tyre salesman; Meghan’s father worked in TV production.
Both women came from ambitious, middle-class families and had careers before royal life — Sophie in PR and Meghan in acting.
The Queen, having grown very fond of Sophie, thought she would be a perfect sounding board.
Sophie had already proven her ability to quietly adapt and earn her place within the monarchy — something Meghan was about to take on herself.
Meghan Had Other Ideas
But according to royal expert Gyles Brandreth, Meghan declined the offer of mentorship.
She felt she had everything she needed — namely, Harry.
Former staffers have since described early palace meetings as awkward, with Meghan eager to take control rather than observe and learn the royal ropes.
“She believed she already knew best,” one insider told royal author Tom Quinn.
Others noted that she seemed determined to modernize the monarchy in her own image — not necessarily understanding that the Royal Family isn’t designed for dramatic reinvention overnight.
Kate Took a Different Route — And It Paid Off
While Meghan reportedly charged forward with big plans, Kate Middleton took the opposite approach when she joined the Royal Family.
She spent time listening, observing, and adjusting gradually.
Over time, she and Sophie built a respectful and sisterly bond — a connection that blossomed naturally thanks to their shared work ethic and similar personalities.
Kate’s success was rooted in her decision to ease into royal life rather than try to change it.
Sophie’s Loyalty to the Crown
Sophie eventually became one of the Queen’s most trusted confidantes, so much so that she referred to Her Majesty as “Mama.”
After losing her own mother in 2005, Sophie leaned into her royal duties with quiet dignity.
She’s now attached to nearly 70 organizations and maintains a low-profile but highly respected public image.
When Meghan and Harry stepped back from royal duties in 2020, Sophie responded with kindness rather than judgment.
“I just hope they will be happy,” she said in an interview.
A Tale of Two Duchesses
As Meghan and Harry’s time as working royals ended with the so-called “Megxit,” Sophie remained a steady presence in the royal fold.
She’s been called upon to act as a peacemaker, including during the Queen’s funeral and other tense family gatherings.
One aide told the Telegraph Sophie was made for the role of mediator.
And following her husband Edward being made the Duke of Edinburgh in 2023, Sophie now shares Meghan’s duchess title — but without the public drama.
The Public Has Spoken
A recent YouGov poll reflects the shift in public perception.
Sophie is now the sixth most popular royal, while Meghan has dropped to 19th — a reversal from 2019 when Meghan was ahead.
Sophie’s steady rise seems to be a reward for her quiet dedication, while Meghan’s fall has been attributed by some commentators to overconfidence and poor judgment.
As royal author Tina Brown put it rather bluntly: “She doesn’t listen.
She does what she wants, and all of her ideas are total crap, unfortunately.”
Different Temperaments, Different Outcomes
Royal analyst Richard Fitzwilliams described Sophie as cheerful and reliable — someone who earns trust through consistent hard work.
Meghan, in contrast, has been described as more concerned with attention and control.
In the end, the lesson may be this: joining the Royal Family isn’t just about visibility or ambition.
It’s about learning how to navigate centuries of tradition with humility and patience — something Sophie seems to have mastered, and Meghan, perhaps, underestimated.