Two years ago, a young life full of promise was brutally taken away.
Tomorrow, David Webber will watch his 17-year-old son Charlie play cricket at Nottingham University in a match held in memory of his late brother Barney.
It’s a bittersweet moment for David and his family—a way to honor Barney’s memory but also a stark reminder of everything that was lost.
Charlie will wear Barney’s number 53 shirt, a symbol of his ‘brilliant, sporty’ older brother, who should have been celebrating university life and looking forward to his future.
Instead, Barney’s life was cut short at just 19.
The Pain of Absence
Barney’s mother, Emma, who has tirelessly campaigned for justice and copes with her grief on difficult days through medication, sadly can’t bring herself to attend the match.
The pain is simply too much.
David and Emma should be preparing for Barney’s graduation next month, proud of their eldest son’s achievements.
But as David says, “Barney will never get his degree, never have his 21st birthday, never grow into the man he was becoming.”
The stabbing that took Barney’s life on June 13, 2023, left him frozen in time at 19, a permanent loss for the family.
The Killer and the Injustice
The man responsible, Valdo Calocane, didn’t just attack Barney.
He also killed a 65-year-old caretaker, Ian Coates, and tried to kill three others that same night.
Calocane has admitted to manslaughter and attempted murder but, due to paranoid schizophrenia, he is currently detained in a “soft” NHS psychiatric hospital where he’s allowed to watch DVDs, build Lego, and play music.
Meanwhile, Barney’s ashes remain uncollected at the funeral home.
David explains that picking them up feels like admitting a final, painful truth.
“It’s just another tick to say, ‘He’s gone,’” he says.
Even touching Barney’s untouched bedroom or opening his unopened mail feels unbearable—they’re scared of triggering a flood of painful memories.
A Father’s Guilt and Haunting Memories
David speaks openly about the deep guilt and helplessness he feels.
“I feel like I let him down because I’m his father and I didn’t protect him,” he admits.
Yet he knows, logically, there was nothing he could have done.
Still, there’s a primal part of him that wishes he could’ve been there to stop the attack.
David shares vivid, haunting dreams where he reaches out for Barney but can’t grasp him—waking in cold sweats, overwhelmed with fear and helplessness.
Struggling to Move Forward
Despite the pain, the family tries to carry on for Charlie’s sake.
They recently returned from a family holiday in Morocco, something they try to do every year.
But David notes the strain it places on all of them, especially Charlie, who deeply misses the brother he looked up to.
David himself has been battling severe depression, anxiety, and PTSD.
He couldn’t return to work until recently, relying heavily on his co-director to keep his IT company running.
Concentrating on anything other than the tragedy is still a huge challenge.
He recalls the last time he saw Barney in the hospital—the pain of knowing it was their final moment together haunts him daily.
Physical and Emotional Toll
On top of the emotional devastation, David has been dealing with an undiagnosed heart condition for weeks.
The pain on the left side of his chest is constant, and doctors are still investigating.
“I used to laugh at the idea of a broken heart, but now I don’t,” he says quietly.
He explains how he masks his emotions outwardly, but inside he feels torn apart.
The burden of grief affects him physically and mentally in ways few can see.
A Family United, Yet Strained
Photos around their Somerset home show a loving family before tragedy struck.
But the fight for justice has taken its toll.
David talks honestly about his relationship with Emma—they love each other deeply but the trauma has changed their connection.
“At times we’re close, at times we drift apart.
It’s like paddling separate canoes, each trying to survive,” he says.
The guilt of enjoying life sometimes makes them pull back emotionally. There’s no spark anymore, just the drive to keep pushing for answers.
David also struggles with being a protective father to Charlie, who jokingly calls him “creepy dad” for wanting to know his every move.
“If I lost Charlie too, I don’t think I’d survive,” David admits.
The Fight for Justice
The tragedy has exposed serious failures in the system.
Calocane, who had been sectioned four times and displayed dangerous behavior, was repeatedly released despite warnings from psychiatrists that he was a threat.
David is furious about the mistakes that allowed a “ticking time bomb” to roam free and kill his son, Grace, and Ian Coates.
The official NHS report revealed catastrophic errors—failures to arrest Calocane, failures to keep him on medication, and conflicting psychiatric assessments during his sentencing.
“This wasn’t just mental illness; it was gross negligence,” David says with burning anger.
“He made a conscious decision to kill my son. Mental health explains behavior—it’s not an excuse.”
The Day That Changed Everything
David recalls the day he found out Barney had been attacked.
He and Emma were at their holiday home in Cornwall when the news broke.
David tracked Barney’s phone, called the police, and rushed to Nottingham with Emma.
The moment a police officer called back with uncertain news was unbearable. Emma collapsed in tears.
David had to tell Charlie—who was at school activities—that his brother had been murdered. Charlie’s reaction was heartbreaking.
The next day, the families of Barney and Grace met for the first time at a vigil.
United in grief, David spoke alongside Grace’s father, offering words of love and sorrow to the community.
His emotions poured out naturally—no rehearsed speeches, just raw pain.