Rising Trend of ‘Sexlessness’ Among Young Adults
In the U.S., there’s an increasing number of young adults who are reporting that they aren’t engaging in sexual activity, a phenomenon often referred to as “sexlessness.
” This shift has become a point of concern, but for some, it’s seen as a significant chance to spread the message about marriage, relationships, and sexuality.
Experts are paying attention to these changes, noting that this trend might be a golden opportunity for evangelization on these topics.
Data Highlights a Growing Disconnect
Recent data from the National Survey of Family Growth paints a clear picture of rising “sexlessness” across the nation.
This survey, conducted by the National Center for Health Statistics, has been tracking trends since 1973.
From 2013 to 2023, statistics show a notable increase in both young men and women reporting a lack of sexual activity
. For young men, sexlessness has doubled over the past decade, while for young women, the numbers have risen by about 50%.
While this might be seen as a win for those opposed to extramarital sex, Lyman Stone, a fellow at the Institute for Family Studies (IFS), points out that the decline in marriage plays a significant role in the decreasing levels of sexual activity.
With fewer young adults getting married — and often doing so much later in life — sexual activity is naturally declining as well.
The Role of Marriage in the Decline of Sex
Stone emphasizes that marriage plays a crucial role in fostering sexual activity.
Married people, on average, tend to have more sex.
But with the trend toward delayed or avoided marriage, fewer young adults are experiencing this aspect of intimacy.
The rise in “sexlessness” is therefore closely tied to the societal shift away from traditional marriage.
A Call for Evangelization
Despite the unsettling nature of these trends for those who advocate for marriage, experts believe there is a bright side.
They argue that this shift opens up a significant opportunity for evangelization, especially for those who champion marriage as an essential part of human life. J.P. De Gance, the founder of the relationship ministry Communio, sees this as a chance to share the Catholic perspective on marriage and relationships with the broader public.
De Gance suggests that the issue of loneliness and the lack of meaningful relationships is at the heart of this crisis.
In 1990, a large majority of men had close friends, but by 2021, that number had dramatically decreased.
The rise of smartphones and other distractions has exacerbated this, making it even harder for people to form deep, lasting relationships.
The Need for Real-Life Connections
De Gance advocates for a return to real-life interactions as the solution.
He believes that parishes can play a critical role in facilitating these relationships.
According to him, real relationships are key to creating strong, lasting communities where people can grow in faith and understanding.
When it comes to evangelization, relationships are the foundation.
Ryan and Mary Rose Verret, founders of the marriage renewal initiative Witness to Love, share a similar sentiment.
They argue that authentic relationships — both platonic and romantic — are lacking for many young people today.
The result is a hesitation to enter into committed relationships like marriage.
Many young adults, according to the Verrets, have grown up in environments where they haven’t witnessed healthy, thriving marriages, making the idea of marriage less attractive.
Changing Attitudes Towards Marriage
Mary Rose Verret also believes that the high rates of divorce and cohabitation have distorted many young people’s views on marriage.
If they’ve never seen a healthy, stable marriage in action, it becomes much harder for them to envision or desire that kind of commitment for themselves.
Moreover, both the Verrets and De Gance point to the influence of contraception and pornography on this issue.
Birth control, they argue, has separated sex from the idea of marriage, while pornography has made sex feel more disconnected from real, human relationships.
The result is a culture where sex, marriage, and people are increasingly detached from one another.
Teaching the Value of Marriage
For those who want to combat these trends, one of the most important things Catholic families can do is model strong marriages.
Mary Rose Verret suggests inviting young people into their homes to witness how a healthy marriage functions.
Seeing marriage lived out in real life can spark a desire for that same kind of connection.
De Gance also encourages parishes to foster environments that promote these types of real relationships.
One of his parish partners in Florida turned an annual dance — initially for older church members — into a monthly event where young adults could come together in a safe and fun space.
This helped create a community where young people could form genuine connections.
Bringing Parish Life Back
De Gance reminisces about a time when his parents met at a weekly parish dance in the 1960s, emphasizing the importance of combining social activities with relationship-building efforts.
By integrating sound relationship skills with parish life, young people can rediscover the importance of forming relationships in real life.
As these trends continue to unfold, it’s clear that there’s much work to be done in addressing the challenges young adults face in forming relationships and committing to marriage.
But there is also hope that, through community, education, and evangelization, a shift toward more meaningful connections is possible.
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