Growing up royal might sound like a fairy tale, but for Prince Harry, it often felt like he was cast in a supporting role before he could speak.
While his brother Prince William was born to be King, Harry was born to be… well, the backup plan.
And that idea of being the “spare” — never the main act — has followed him his whole life, ultimately becoming the title of his explosive memoir.
Royal Hierarchy: The Power of Birth Order
The British Royal Family has long operated under a strict system of succession — heirs and spares.
King Charles was always the heir, greeted as “Your Royal Highness” from birth.
Prince Andrew once stood in line behind him as a potential backup.
But interestingly, the late Queen Elizabeth II wasn’t born to rule either.
Like her grandson Harry, she started third in line — until her uncle’s abdication changed everything.
Despite the pressure that came with suddenly being next in line, Queen Elizabeth took it in stride.
As royal biographer Ingrid Seward noted, the Queen rarely spoke of her destiny, except in a few quotes recorded by her governess in The Little Princess.
She never complained about being thrust into the spotlight.
A Tale of Two Sisters
This contrast is clear when you compare Queen Elizabeth with her younger sister, Princess Margaret.
Margaret, Seward says, always seemed to struggle with playing second fiddle.
She didn’t want to trade places necessarily, but the role of the “lesser royal” weighed on her.
And if anyone today seems to identify most with that sentiment, it’s Prince Harry.
Harry’s Identity Crisis: Born the Backup
In Spare, Harry doesn’t mince words about how he viewed his place in the family.
“I was the shadow, the support, the Plan B,” he wrote.
In his mind, he was brought into the world in case anything happened to William — as a “spare part,” possibly for organ donation.
Royal commentator Ingrid Seward believes this view was self-imposed.
She argues Harry allowed the “spare” identity to consume him, leading him to frame his life as one of constant hurt and revenge — against his family, the press, and even the royal institution itself.
Behind the Palace Walls: A Reporter’s Front-Row Seat
Seward isn’t a casual observer.
As editor of Majesty magazine and a veteran royal correspondent, she has decades of close-up experience with The Firm — from casual chats with Princess Diana to ski trips with Charles and his sons.
She watched Harry grow up, and she believes that his role gave him more freedom than responsibility.
As a teen, Harry developed a reputation for partying, mischief, and even drug use — all of which he discussed openly in his book.
He once joked to William at age nine, “You’re going to be King; it doesn’t matter what I do.”
That attitude, some believe, stayed with him into adulthood.
A Rift Between Brothers
When Harry and Meghan stepped down from their royal roles in January 2020 and moved to the U.S., the tension between Harry and the rest of the Royal Family became painfully public.
During the now-famous Sandringham Summit, Harry claimed that William “screamed and shouted” at him — a moment he called “terrifying.”
The brothers’ relationship has deteriorated since then.
In Spare, Harry even accused William of physically pushing him into a dog bowl during an argument over Meghan.
He also alleged that his brother teased him about his panic attacks and that King Charles always put his own reputation first.
The Price of Speaking Out
Despite all the fallout, Harry’s memoir has been wildly successful.
It broke records as the UK’s fastest-selling nonfiction book, reportedly earning him £22 million and forming part of a massive four-book deal.
But the stories inside — drug use, royal fights, childhood trauma, and pop culture favorites like Friends — didn’t sit well with everyone.
From Royal Spare to Relationship Spare?
Even within his marriage, some royal experts argue Harry might still feel like the “spare.”
According to commentator Richard Fitzwilliams, Meghan Markle has big ambitions.
With business ventures and TV deals, she’s chasing billionaire status and A-list fame.
Harry, on the other hand, may not have that same level of drive or cutthroat instinct.
Fitzwilliams suggests that while their relationship is based on love, their goals don’t always align.
Meghan is driven and strategic.
Harry, he argues, often finds himself tagging along — still the spare, even in his own home.
Security Battles and Legal Losses
One of Harry’s most painful breaks from royal life came when his security detail was downgraded after Megxit.
He recently lost a court appeal to overturn that decision.
Speaking in a BBC interview shortly after the ruling, he said he couldn’t imagine bringing his wife and kids back to the UK under current conditions.
He described the use of security as a form of control — a way to prevent royals from choosing a different path.
Harry insists the decision set a dangerous precedent and claimed, “Some members of my family will never forgive me” for airing their private matters in public.
Redefining the Role of the Spare
From a mischievous young prince pulling faces behind palace guests to a disillusioned adult writing bestselling memoirs, Harry’s journey has been shaped — and haunted — by the idea of being second-best.
Whether in the monarchy or his marriage, the “spare” label continues to follow him.
And yet, it’s also become his brand, his weapon, and his voice.
The title that once defined his place in the royal family now defines his place in the world — as a man no longer content to live in anyone else’s shadow.