Pep Borrell, a dentist from Barcelona, Spain, was born in 1963.
While his professional background is in dentistry, his true passion lies in exploring and sharing deep, countercultural truths about dating and marriage through the lens of the Catholic Church.
A married father of five children and grandfather to five, Borrell has recently published a Spanish-language book titled “Novios 100%: Cómo tira la caña con acierto” (All-in Couples: How To Do It Right).
The book delves into the topic of courtship, offering insights and guidance aimed at building strong, lasting marriages.
A Guide to Building Lasting Relationships
In his book, Borrell addresses key questions about courtship, a pivotal stage in the journey toward marriage.
His goal is to lay a foundation for solid and happy marriages, providing young couples with tools to navigate the complexities of dating.
Using accessible language, he touches on topics like the phases of love, choosing a partner wisely, and modern dating challenges such as meeting online, commitment fears, cohabitation, and long-distance relationships.
Borrell also speaks candidly about the dangers of sentimentality in Catholic dating relationships.
n an interview with ACI Prensa, Borrell emphasized that the most crucial aspect of courtship is truly getting to know one another.
While attraction and falling in love are natural and effortless, love itself requires effort and intentionality.
The Role of Commitment in Courtship
Borrell stresses the importance of commitment in a relationship, noting that courtship is not a “mini-marriage.”
Instead, it’s a time to get to know each other thoroughly to decide if you can share your life with that person.
He highlights that, for many, marriage is the most important decision of their lives, yet it is often approached hastily or based purely on emotions.
Courtship should be about more than just fun or shared interests; it’s about building a deeper understanding of the other person.
Emotions vs. Rationality in Love
While emotions, particularly during courtship, can be intense, Borrell argues that it’s crucial to approach love with rationality.
Love is not just about how you feel, but about what you decide to do.
He encourages couples to ask themselves: Is this relationship a good fit for me? Falling in love is a feeling, but love itself is a choice.
By committing to love and prioritizing the happiness of the other person, feelings will naturally return and often grow stronger over time.
He advises couples to let initial emotional “tsunamis” subside before making any major decisions.
Understanding and Accepting Imperfections
Every person has flaws, and Borrell suggests that courtship is a time to get to know these imperfections.
He warns against the common mistake of trying to change your partner and emphasizes that accepting both virtues and defects is essential for a healthy relationship.
If you discover something you don’t like, Borrell advises communicating openly and deciding whether it’s a minor issue, a significant one, or a dealbreaker.
Courtship: Not for the Lazy
Borrell points out that a common issue in modern courtships is laziness, especially among men.
He believes that dating should be a time of enthusiasm, effort, and excitement.
If a partner is lazy or inconsistent, they may not be ready for the responsibility of marriage and family.
Dating is about giving your best, not about being a caretaker for someone unwilling to put in the work.
Bringing God into the Relationship
For Catholics, Borrell encourages couples to consider whether their relationship brings them closer to God.
He suggests that if a relationship causes distance from God or peace, it’s time to reconsider.
The ultimate goal of courtship, according to Borrell, is to become the best version of yourself, and this should be supported by the person you’re dating.
The Security of Exclusivity
One of the most profound points Borrell makes in his book is the idea that there is “nothing safer than having sexual relations exclusively with the person you love.”
Beyond avoiding STDs, he explains that true intimacy in marriage can only be achieved when both partners commit to each other completely.
In his view, premarital relationships, even though free, fail to be total, faithful, or fruitful.
True love is about surrendering fully to one another in the context of marriage, which is not just a religious rule, but a path to happiness on earth and in eternity.
The Spiritual Significance of Marriage
Borrell concludes with a beautiful reflection on the supernatural meaning of sexual relations within marriage.
He describes the sexual union between spouses as the highest expression of love, mirroring God’s love for the Church.
In a secular world, this idea can be hard to grasp, but for Catholics, it holds deep spiritual significance.
In marriage, the sexual act is not just physical; it is a prayer, an act of profound union and love, a sacred expression of one flesh.
In the end, Borrell’s message is clear: courtship is a time for serious reflection, commitment, and growth.
It’s about building a lasting relationship based on mutual respect, faith, and a deep understanding of each other’s true selves.
This article was published on TDPel Media. Thanks for reading!
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