When you think about Melinda Gates, it’s impossible not to picture a woman who has spent decades building a global legacy alongside one of the world’s most famous billionaires.
But beneath that high-profile life, she recently shared the deeply personal and emotional journey behind her decision to end her 27-year marriage to Bill Gates.
Listening to the Inner Voice She Tried to Ignore
On the podcast How to Fail with Elizabeth Day, Melinda revealed how she wrestled with an “inner voice” — a quiet but persistent feeling that something wasn’t right.
For years, she pushed that feeling aside, overwhelmed by the responsibilities of motherhood, running a philanthropic empire, and the public image they maintained.
She said, “When that voice would come — and it would come at different times because of things that had happened outside the marriage that I would later come to learn about — I kept pushing it away.”
The Weight of Family and Shared Legacy
Melinda talked about the pressure she felt to keep the marriage together, not just for herself but for their three children and their joint work at the Bill & Melinda Gates Foundation.
She deeply believed in the foundation’s mission and still does, which made the choice all the harder.
“We had a foundation and that was big and I believed in that work,” she said.
But eventually, the voice inside her became impossible to ignore.
“At some point I had to turn towards it, and I just knew it and I knew it in my soul.”
The Difficult Road to a Life-Altering Decision
She made it clear that her decision wasn’t sudden or taken lightly.
“I took marriage — and I still do — very, very seriously and it wasn’t just two of us involved, it was five of us,” she reflected, referring to their children.
The couple’s divorce announcement in 2021 was a shock to many, yet they emphasized they would continue collaborating on their philanthropic goals, despite no longer growing together as a couple.
Rumors and Healing: The Shadow of Betrayal
Not long after the split, reports emerged alleging Bill Gates had an affair with a Microsoft employee years earlier — a factor that reportedly broke down trust in their marriage.
Melinda hasn’t confirmed exactly when she learned about these rumors but told CBS Mornings in 2022 that she believes in forgiveness and thought they had worked through some of the issues.
“I certainly believe in forgiveness. So I thought we had worked through some of that,” she said.
Bill Gates publicly addressed the affair allegations on the first anniversary of their divorce announcement, admitting, “I certainly made mistakes, and I take responsibility.”
Finding Strength Through Solitude and Self-Reflection
Melinda spoke about the time she took to really reflect on her future.
“I had to take time, quiet time with myself, time to ask myself, well, ‘Why am I staying? What would it be like if I left?’” she said.
Though painful, she says the experience gave her a deeper understanding of love and partnership.
“It’s two people who’ve come together, hopefully in love — and in my case I would definitely say that — so then pulling it apart later is really hard.”
Continuing to Work Together for a Greater Cause
Despite their personal separation, Melinda and Bill have maintained a professional relationship, continuing to focus on key issues like gender equality and global health.
Melinda has also grown more vocal on her own, advocating strongly for women’s empowerment and reproductive rights.
In her memoir The Moment of Lift: How Empowering Women Changes the World, she hinted at the emotional struggles she faced in her marriage, often feeling unheard or invisible — not just at home but even in meetings.
Embracing Her Own Voice and Authenticity
Today, Melinda is more in tune with her own instincts — a voice she admits she ignored for too long.
“When you have an inner knowing… it is really important to listen to it and to follow it,” she said.
She also acknowledged how painful divorce can be for anyone, no matter the situation.
“It doesn’t matter who it is. It’s a very painful thing to go through.”
With her children now grown and her work evolving, Melinda continues to reflect on living a life guided by authenticity rather than obligation — a powerful message for anyone navigating life’s toughest choices.