In a heartfelt and candid conversation, Madonna has opened up about one of the most painful chapters of her life — the period she calls her “darkest hours.”
Speaking on her first-ever podcast interview with Jay Shetty’s On Purpose, the 67-year-old pop icon reflected on the emotional turmoil she faced during her custody battle over her son, Rocco Ritchie.
A Painful Battle Behind the Scenes
Back in 2016, Madonna found herself locked in a public custody battle with her ex-husband, filmmaker Guy Ritchie.
At the time, their son Rocco, then 16, decided to leave her Rebel Heart Tour and relocate to London to live with his father.
Despite Madonna having primary custody, the dispute stretched into a long legal fight before a settlement allowed Rocco to remain in the UK.
Breaking Down Under Pressure
Madonna revealed that the ordeal pushed her to the edge emotionally.
She admitted there were moments when she felt so overwhelmed that she contemplated suicide.
“I honestly couldn’t see the forest for the trees,” she shared.
“Someone trying to take my child away from me felt like someone trying to kill me.”
Despite performing on stage every night, she would collapse in her dressing room, sobbing on the floor.
“I really thought it was the end of the world. I couldn’t take it,” she confessed.
Healing Through Spirituality
Looking back now, Madonna credits her spirituality for pulling her through those dark times.
She explained that her faith and spiritual practices gave her strength when she felt broken.
“Thank God I don’t feel that way anymore,” she said, adding that she and her son are now “really good friends” after repairing their relationship.
Lessons from Family and Forgiveness
The singer also spoke about her complicated relationship with her late brother, Christopher, who passed away in June 2024 after battling throat cancer.
Madonna admitted she had held grudges for years, describing resentment as “a kind of poison.”
She recalled not speaking to him for three years until he reached out while ill.
“It was a moment of truth: am I going to help my enemy?” she said.
Ultimately, she chose forgiveness, calling it a “weight lifted” from her life.
Holding her brother’s hand in his final days, she was able to say, “I love you and I forgive you.”
Discovering Kabbalah and Spiritual Purpose
Madonna also revisited her first encounter with Kabbalah, the Jewish mystical tradition she began studying in 1996.
She said learning its teachings helped her align her intentions with a deeper purpose, especially beyond the glitz of her fame.
She has now launched The Mystical Studies of the Zohar, a new course with her Kabbalah teacher, Eitan Yardeni, aimed at guiding others on their own spiritual journeys.
Redefining Success Through Spirituality
In the wide-ranging interview, the mother-of-six reflected on how spirituality sustains her not just during times of success but especially during hardship.
“Success is having a spiritual life, period. I wouldn’t be here if I didn’t have one,” she said.
She added that true success comes from serving others, explaining, “The greatest light comes when you’re in darkness.
When you’re already in the light, there’s no effort. But in darkness, you can reveal the most light.”
Embracing Radical Acceptance
Madonna also spoke about practicing “radical acceptance,” learning to embrace what life brings even when it’s painful.
“At any given time, everything can change.
Don’t take it for granted. Have humility,” she advised.
What Kabbalah Teaches
Kabbalah, which explores the symbolic and mystical aspects of God and creation, includes concepts like the Sefirot (divine emanations) and the Tree of Life.
Madonna says these teachings have helped her deepen her understanding of herself, the divine, and the world around her.
A Message of Hope
Madonna ended the interview by reminding listeners that spiritual wisdom is most powerful when life feels darkest.
Her story serves as a reminder that healing, forgiveness, and inner strength can help anyone face their own battles.
If you or someone you know is struggling, help is available.
In the US, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 988.
In the UK, call Samaritans at 116 123, visit samaritans.org, or visit www.thecalmzone.net/get-support.