You might think a top divorce attorney’s job is just to handle breakups and bitter splits — but what if that same person actually holds the secret to a successful marriage?
James Sexton, one of New York’s most sought-after divorce lawyers, is shaking up that idea.
He’s no stranger to the messy side of relationships.
Over the years, Sexton has seen everything from amicable splits to the kinds of separations that feel like a total disaster—“she took the house, the kids, and even the dog,” as he puts it.
Yet, despite all that, he’s now making a strong case for something many couples fear to even talk about: the prenup.
The Prenup Myth and Why It’s Actually a Sign of True Commitment
Last year, Sexton went viral when he revealed that a staggering 76 percent of marriages either end in divorce or live in what he calls “wedded agony.”
Those stats might make you wonder if tying the knot is even worth it.
But Sexton isn’t here to discourage love—he’s offering a new perspective.
This time, his hot take revolves around prenuptial agreements, which many people think are just plans for divorce.
But for Sexton, they’re actually the best predictor of a marriage that lasts.
“I’ve drafted thousands of prenups over 25 years, and only about five of those couples ended up divorcing,” he told me. “That’s better than any romantic comedy ending.”
A Prenup Is More Than Just Paperwork
Are prenups really just about preparing for the worst? Not according to Sexton.
He describes them as surprisingly positive experiences—almost feel-good.
“It’s a very friendly process. Couples leave feeling like they’ve protected each other,” he said.
In fact, a prenup is a “safety net of emotional and financial transparency,” Sexton explained.
It’s a profound way of saying, “I want to protect you, even if things change.”
Pause and think about that for a moment. It’s less about expecting failure and more about showing care and commitment in a practical, grown-up way.
The Wildest Prenup Clauses You’ve Never Heard Of
Now for some fun. When asked about the craziest prenup clause he’s ever encountered, Sexton didn’t disappoint.
“One bride had to stay within a certain weight range,” he said.
“There was a pre-wedding baseline, and if she deviated after divorce, there were consequences.”
Yep, the groom wanted to make sure she didn’t “blow out” on the scales after they split. You can imagine how that played out!
Then there are the infidelity clauses, which can get very creative.
Sexton mentioned one woman who would get a $1.5 million house if her husband cheated.
“She was basically rooting for him to slip up,” he joked.
And don’t miss the yoga instructor married to a Goldman Sachs exec who wrote a prenup full of perks: a $250,000 signing bonus, baby moon trips costing $100k each, strict gift policies for her family, and a wardrobe budget that would make Carrie Bradshaw jealous.
Money, Sex, and Emotional Transparency
Sexual minimums? Yes, those are real prenup clauses too.
While you can’t legally enforce sex, couples have included financial incentives tied to intimacy efforts.
Sexton has seen it all, from rules about house sizes to how often in-laws get gifts.
Behind some of these quirky clauses, though, lies a deeper fear or insecurity.
“You can tell when someone is scared to say no or set boundaries,” he said.
But here’s the best part: Sexton calls prenups “couples therapy in disguise.”
How Prenups Force Couples to Talk Honestly
Negotiating a prenup pushes couples to have brutally honest conversations about expectations, values, and what they owe each other.
It’s not just about money—it’s unpacking the emotional and financial ecosystem of their relationship.
According to Sexton, the ideal prenup uses a “Yours, Mine, and Ours” approach where individual assets stay with each person, shared assets are split equally, and couples keep the dialogue open.
“It’s not control—it’s respect and autonomy,” he said.
“Every financial decision becomes a chance to communicate and stay aligned.”
Facing the Hard Conversations Is the Real Test of Love
If talking about a prenup feels uncomfortable, Sexton says that might be a red flag.
“If you can’t have tough discussions with your partner, maybe you shouldn’t get married,” he admitted bluntly.
A prenup tests honesty, vulnerability, and whether couples can disagree but still feel safe with each other.
“It’s radical intimacy,” he said. “Being emotionally and financially naked with someone.
Sharing your fears, values, and boundaries—and trusting they’ll respect them.”
The Most Adult Love Letter You Can Write
In a world where the state sets the rules of marriage, a prenup lets couples create their own contract—a love contract based on trust and communication.
So next time someone says prenups are unromantic, just tell them it’s actually the most grown-up love letter you can write. Who knew legal paperwork could be so sexy?