It’s not every day that a former CIA agent sits you down and tells you how to find love and land a promotion — but that’s exactly what Andrew Bustamante is doing.
Once a covert intelligence officer for the U.S. government, the 45-year-old from Colorado Springs has swapped espionage for empowerment, sharing how spy tactics can make ordinary lives extraordinary.
Through his company, Everyday Spy, Andrew has turned high-stakes intelligence methods into everyday strategies for building better relationships, mastering emotional control, and gaining the upper hand in both love and career.
Lessons From a Life Undercover
During his years working undercover, Bustamante learned skills meant to keep agents alive — skills he says now help him thrive in daily life.
“Every skill the CIA taught me was designed for survival — mental, emotional, and social,” he told DailyMail.com.
According to Andrew, spies aren’t just trained to handle danger — they’re trained to understand people.
“CIA officers learn to read rooms, build trust quickly, and influence without authority,” he explained.
“Situational awareness, reading body language, managing emotional responses — these become second nature.”
The Spy Trick That Saved His Marriage
When asked which of his CIA lessons has shaped his love life the most, Andrew doesn’t hesitate: perspective.
“Healthy relationships, personal or professional, rely on honesty, empathy, and perspective-taking,” he said.
“The CIA taught me to see the world through someone else’s eyes.
Once you truly grasp another person’s motivations, you can connect more deeply and solve conflict faster.”
That emotional intelligence, he says, is what keeps his marriage strong.
“It’s not about manipulation — it’s about understanding.
The key is knowing how people form emotions and opinions, and using that knowledge to create outcomes that help everyone involved.”
Viewing Relationships as Balanced Exchanges
Bustamante also believes that every connection, whether romantic or professional, functions as an exchange — and that recognizing this makes relationships healthier, not colder.
“Every relationship involves an exchange: time, trust, emotion, or energy,” he said.
“When you understand what both sides value, you stop taking people for granted.
You start building balanced partnerships instead of one-sided ones.”
His approach might sound tactical, but it’s grounded in respect.
The point, he says, is to be intentional — not transactional — in how you give and receive in relationships.
How to Get Ahead at Work — The CIA Way
When it comes to professional success, Bustamante swears by three key principles: observe, control, and communicate.
“Most people react too quickly,” he shared. “Intelligence work teaches you to watch first, then act.”
That calm patience, he says, separates those who lead from those who follow.
The second lesson? Master your emotions. “Stay calm no matter what’s happening around you. Emotional control is a power most people underestimate.”
And the third — perhaps most surprising — is learning to use silence.
“Every word you say either builds or destroys trust,” he explained.
“Sometimes, saying nothing is the smartest move in the room.”
Staying Safe — The Spy’s Rule for Life
Even outside the agency, Andrew’s instincts for safety never switched off.
He says “situational awareness” — the art of being alert without being paranoid — can protect anyone.
“I never walk blind,” he revealed. “I’m always mapping exits, noticing behavior patterns, using reflections and shadows to expand my view.”
His advice for civilians? “Keep your head up and your phone down when walking.
Scan faces, hands, and movement — they tell you more than words do.”
And above all, trust your gut. “Your subconscious detects danger before your conscious mind can.
That intuition has saved my life more than once.”
From the Battlefield to the Boardroom
Before becoming a CIA officer, Bustamante served 15 years in the U.S. Air Force as a nuclear missile officer and later earned honors for his service in Iraq and Afghanistan.
His time in uniform, and later in espionage, shaped his mindset into one of constant observation and calm precision.
Now, he’s putting those hard-earned lessons into the hands of ordinary people — showing that even though most of us will never go undercover, we can still use a spy’s mindset to navigate life, love, and work a little more wisely.