Danny Dyer Opens Up About His Childhood Trauma and the Impact of His Father’s Absence on His Life

In a deeply personal interview, Danny Dyer revealed the childhood trauma he endured after his father left when he was just nine years old.

The EastEnders star, now 47, shared the emotional story on BBC Radio 4’s Desert Island Discs, where he spoke candidly about how his father’s departure and subsequent secret affair shaped his life.

The Painful Departure of Danny’s Father

Danny’s father, Antony, left when Danny was young after a two-year affair that resulted in a hidden second family.

Reflecting on his father’s sudden absence, Danny admitted the emotional toll it took on him.

“He’s one of the best actors I’ve met,” Danny said, explaining how his father was able to keep his affair hidden for so long.

Danny recalled how, on Christmas Day, his father would disappear for hours, and Danny was left wondering where he went.

“It was confusing,” he said. “Where is he going? Why is he disappearing? It was the first time I really experienced that kind of trauma.”

Close Bond With His Grandfather

After his father left, Danny found solace in his relationship with his grandfather, a “big, hairy man” who became a positive male role model in his life.

His grandfather, a painter and decorator, showed Danny that masculinity and affection could coexist—something that was rare in the environment Danny grew up in, where men were typically cold and unexpressive.

Danny fondly remembered his grandfather’s warmth: “He was always affectionate with kids.

You were allowed to sit on his lap and watch TV with him.

And I went ‘Oh, so you can be masculine and affectionate.'”

However, Danny’s close bond with his grandfather was cut short when the man tragically passed away from cancer.

The loss deeply affected Danny, who had to watch his grandfather deteriorate over six months.

“It was the first time I’d really been introduced to cancer, and it was difficult.

Another strong male figure either dies or leaves me,” he shared, revealing the grief and anger he struggled to cope with.

The Impact of His Parents’ Divorce

Danny’s parents divorced after his father’s affair became public.

He recalled the painful moment when his mother learned of the affair: “I remember my mum collapsing on the floor while on the phone, with my sister in her arms and me and my brother thinking, ‘Wow, this is heavy.'”

He compared it to a dramatic scene straight out of EastEnders, a show where he later became a household name.

Danny admitted that, as a child, he blamed his mother for the breakup because she was the one who was physically present.

Struggling Through School and Therapy

The trauma of his father’s departure and his parents’ divorce took a toll on Danny’s school life.

Acting out in class, he was eventually referred to a psychiatrist.

“I went to a psychiatrist as a child and had to sit in a room and play with a doll’s house,” he recalled, laughing at the absurdity of it all.

“There were figures like ‘This is mummy, this is daddy,’ and I could never quite understand what therapy was.”

At just nine years old, Danny found himself seeking answers to questions he couldn’t even fully comprehend. “I was really struggling in school.

I wanted answers because, at that age, how do you explain to a nine-year-old what’s going on?”

A Special Bond With a Stray Dog

During his teenage years, Danny found a surprising source of comfort in a stray dog named Sam.

Describing the dog as his “little best mate,” Danny recalled how Sam helped him through a lot of trauma.

“He had a white question mark on his back and never had a lead,” Danny said, fondly remembering how the dog would spend time with him, offering silent companionship.

“I just lay there by the radiator, stroking him. He was intuitive. He got me through a lot.”

Heartbreaking Loss of His Dog

At 17, while working on a shoot, Danny received a devastating call informing him that Sam had died.

Shockingly, it was his father who delivered the news, and Danny was taken aback by the emotion in his father’s voice.

“It was my dad who rang me up and he was crying for the first time. I’d never heard him cry about anything,” Danny shared.

He was struck by the contrast between his father’s unemotional response to his departure and his deep sorrow over the death of the dog.

Conclusion: A Journey Through Trauma

Danny Dyer’s story is one of resilience and growth in the face of deep personal loss.

From the absence of his father to the death of his beloved dog, his life has been marked by moments of intense grief and hardship.

Through it all, Danny has learned to navigate his feelings and embrace his own journey towards healing.