Let’s face it—we’ve all been there. The moment you open your eyes in the morning, before your feet even touch the floor, your hand’s already searching for your phone.
You tap that familiar little green bubble, hoping to see who’s sent you a message overnight.
Maybe it’s a friend with a funny meme, a kid sharing a quick update, or someone accidentally dropping a message meant for someone else.
Before you know it, you’re caught in the scroll. You’re checking blue ticks, wondering why someone hasn’t replied even though they’re clearly online.
Did you offend them? Was it that dodgy aubergine emoji? And suddenly, an hour’s gone by and you’re still glued to the screen, waiting for that little dopamine kick from a response.
Welcome to Our Digital Prison of Our Own Making
WhatsApp turned 15 years old not too long ago, and at this point, it feels like it’s more than just a messaging app—it’s a way of life.
We share everything on there. From where to meet for coffee to what time to collect the kids—and even, quite incredibly, what time to launch a missile strike.
It’s not just chatting—it’s a historical record of human connection.
Billions of messages being fired off every day, capturing marriages, breakups, work gossip, and yes, even government secrets.
It’s like a constantly growing diary of humanity’s joys and blunders.
When Tech Glitches Turn into Global Headlines
And oh, the mistakes. WhatsApp’s biggest charm—and curse—is how easy it is to mess up.
Just ask any of us who’ve accidentally sent a scathing message about someone to that exact person.
Or typed out something meant for your partner and accidentally dropped it in the office group chat. Oof.
One classic example? A journalist was added to a Signal group by mistake and got a front-row seat to the US military’s plans in Yemen.
Embarrassing? Sure. But who hasn’t hit send on something and immediately regretted it?
That Time I Accidentally Texted the Whole Conservative Party
When I was Prime Minister, we had so many Tory MPs that we needed multiple WhatsApp groups to keep up.
I always felt awkward about chiming in—didn’t want to seem too stiff or self-important.
I’d draft some inspirational line or clever dig at the opposition, then chicken out and delete it.
But once, while overseas, I got a flood of cheerful replies from MPs. Turns out, I had somehow sent my one and only group message, and it said: “Hi babe, I am at the duty free.”
Not exactly Churchillian, is it? And I had no clue how to delete it, so it just stayed there… forever.
The Bigger Question—Is It All Really Worth It?
Don’t get me wrong—WhatsApp has its perks. But if you scroll back through your chats, you might start to wonder: how much of this stuff really matters? Think of all that data sitting on servers somewhere.
The energy used. The mental space it takes up.
Even the smartest minds get caught up in it. My colleague Sarah Vine once invited her whole phonebook to a book launch by creating a massive WhatsApp group.
What followed was a hilarious storm of humblebrags and literary chaos, with everyone trying to outdo each other on why they couldn’t make it.
Piers Morgan chimed in, my sister Rachel got involved, and Stephen Fry quietly left the group—which, honestly, said more than any message.
When Online Intimacy Replaces Real-Life Connection
There’s a weird illusion of closeness that WhatsApp creates.
You feel like you’re staying in touch—but are you really? I hear young people these days aren’t going out as much.
Not drinking. Not partying. And apparently… not having as much sex. Yep, the birth rate’s falling, and maybe all this online bonding has something to do with it.
Face-to-face human interaction is messy, unpredictable, and yes, sometimes awkward—but it’s also vital.
When future historians try to explain the social shifts and even the population decline of the 21st century, don’t be surprised if WhatsApp gets a mention.