Kelly Ripa discusses authoring a biography, her favorite ‘Live!’ guests, and her next professional step

Kelly Ripa has spent more than three decades in the entertainment industry, but the process of writing essays for her new book was considerably more difficult than regaling TV audiences with colorful anecdotes about her life.

Tuesday’s release of “Live Wire: Long-Winded Short Stories” marks the actress and Emmy-winning daytime talk show host’s professional writing debut.

Ripa sat down virtually with Insider prior to the book’s release to discuss the overwhelming feeling of “self-loathing” she experienced while writing her collection of short stories, her all-time favorite “Live” guests, and how she and her husband Mark Consuelos are embracing adventures as empty nesters now that their three children (Michael, Lola, and Joaquin) have moved out.

Kelly Ripa is an Emmy-winning actress and daytime talk show host.

Sean Zanni/Patrick McMullan image courtesy of Getty Images

First of all, how are you feeling now that this book’s release is approximately two weeks away?

I keep comparing it to childbirth, except that it takes two years and there is no anesthetic. As a result, I feel as though I am experiencing slow contractions every five minutes, but no one is offering me pain medication. And it’s far more difficult than I anticipated.

I wrote the book myself. In retrospect, I never understood why people utilized ghostwriters or co-authors, but now I’m like, “Oh, I absolutely get it,” because they suffer while you don’t. But I was forced to do it the hard way.

A tweet from Kelly Ripa (@kellyripa).

It’s an expression I’ve used pretty often: I’m filled with anticipation and self-loathing. Kal Penn was the first person to inquire about my well-being “Where are you in the process of writing? How filled are you with self-hatred?” And I said, “This is the ideal expression. Yes, I suffer from self-hatred.”

And I was nearing completion of the editing process with my editor when he asked, “Where are you in this?” And I told him, “I had a dream last night that I walked in front of a bus and the book wasn’t published,” to which he replied, “You’re almost done.”

I felt very heartened by the fact that he noticed me and understood me, because I think he is such a fantastic author and I adored his book. And I was so thankful that he published his book after I had written mine, because I would have ripped it up, ripped the manuscript, and said, “That’s it!” “Forget it. Have you read the book by Kal Penn? Forget it.”

I adore how sincere you are in these tales. Was it intimidating or frightening to be so open? I’m aware that you frequently discuss your personal life on your show, but was it more terrifying to do so in a book?

Yes, it was considerably more terrifying. I believed that because I read so many books I would be able to write one effortlessly. I have no idea what possessed me. I sat at my computer and composed it informally. I lacked an outline and did not adhere to any guidelines. I simply followed my mind’s ramblings. I believe it contributes to the book’s appeal that I wrote it the way I speak.

Kelly Ripa revealed to Insider that writing her book was more difficult than she anticipated.

J. Countess/Getty Photographs

When I was recording the audiobook, the director kept trying to get me to utter specific phrases differently. And I responded, “No, this is how I intended it to sound because that is precisely how I wrote it.” And that was simply amusing. He remarked, “Oh, I’m not used to someone so…” as if I had stepped off the page of my novel, if you get my meaning.

I didn’t even need to look at the pages because I had written it, rewritten it, and then read it so many times that I was almost nauseous, and I kept finding new things that I wanted to change, or I thought it would be funnier this way, or I should write it this way.

I eventually recognized I needed to quit it. Therefore, it was exceedingly difficult. I now realize how hard it must be for cats and dogs to give birth to their litters, as I had always imagined it “No, something else is on the way. I am aware that something else is forthcoming.” I was essentially reduced to this by the conclusion of the process.

Your “ramblings,” as you describe them, were very entertaining to read. The chapter concerning marriage was among my favorites. You attributed the durability of your partnership to compromise. I was curious if there were any other relationship lessons you wish you had known when you were younger. Have you shared any of this knowledge with your children?

The best piece of advice I can give to any young person in a relationship, and it’s in the book, is to find a peer friend couple, not your family, because when you have arguments, especially early on in the relationship, when you have problems, when something comes up, you want to confide in your family and seek comfort from them. They are your primary source of solace. You should face your parents and siblings if you wish to communicate with them. Whatever it is, they will not be able to overcome it; they will not be able to set it aside. You and your mate, husband, or partner will reconcile, however your family may not be able to.

Therefore, I usually recommend excluding your close family and turning to your trusted peer couple rather than your peer group. You do not require your gaggle of female friends or your gaggle of male pals to become involved. There is typically another married couple, perhaps a bit older than you, to whom you can turn for mature advice, reasonable compromise, and a judgment-free zone.

They will not desert either of you until you’ve recovered from whatever nonsense you’ve endured. They will support you as a pair since, as a unit, they love you both equally.

I adore this.

This is sound advice. It is indeed sound advice.

You are totally correct. The natural tendency is to inform your relatives and get their opinion.

And despite their good intentions, they will just advocate for you and not necessarily the union.

There is a hilarious story in your book about Melanie Griffith being one of your favorite cast members. Who else are some of your favorite guests of all time? I’m sure you’re pondering countless, but can you recall any in particular?

There are numerous. Kevin Hart is an excellent interview subject because he simply takes over. It’s almost like a vacation, if you catch my drift. You are not required to do anything. He conducts the entire interview. He is the joke-teller. He is an excellent storyteller.

Also, Jennifer Lopez is that. She enters while being electrifying. And you almost feel like pixie dust is floating through the air. It is incredible, witty, and irreverent, but it also knows the business, knows how to sell the movie, sell the album, or whatever it is, and it is also charming, amusing, and human.

These are two excellent instances. There are numerous.

You have a tendency to remember only the most painful or traumatizing individuals. Unfortunately, you really burn horrible ones into your memory, but I would never expose them because there is likely a listening device in my office, and I would be punished if I did.

The co-hosts of “Live With Kelly and Ryan” are Kelly Ripa and Ryan Seacrest.

Raymond Hall/GC Photographs

However, the majority of celebs are excellent. Additionally, we obtain them at their peak performance. If you cannot be excellent for six minutes, you are in the wrong industry. When interviewing someone for six minutes, you see their finest selves. But I believe that certain individuals shine throughout the six minutes, and you can tell that the performance is good.

Who was on our show today that was fantastic? Naomi Watts. Great. Great. I’m acquainted with her off camera, and she’s fantastic off camera. On camera, off camera Incredible.

Then you conclude your book with this comment on how your children have grown up and the circumstance of an empty nest. But I like that you and Mark have an adventurous spirit. Could you elaborate a bit more about that? How has your dynamic changed after your children have left the nest?

In June, we went on our very first vacation without our children. Since our honeymoon, we had never taken a five-day vacation. And ever since then, we have had children. Mark always jokes that a family vacation is a “trip.” A journey is different from a vacation.

We took a holiday. The moment our eyes opened, we awoke. Our dogs remained at home with the dog sitter. Therefore, we went on vacation. Our only schedule was our own. So we hiked, we talked, we read, we watched the nightly news, we went to late meals, we had late breakfasts. We did anything we felt like. We visited a spa. We entered one of those tanks in which one floats in warm salt water while listening to chimes and other sounds in the dark.

It was nice and exciting. We didn’t get bored. Our children contacted us multiple times out of concern that we might miss them or be bored. We tried to act as if things were less enjoyable without you, but we had the time of our lives.

And what undertakings and endeavors, whether professional or personal, do you intend to undertake next? I believe there are more vacations like that.

More holidays like that, without a doubt. We have taken up adventure. We went rock climbing with wires and other equipment, something we had never done before. Currently, we’re doing more adventurous activities that we’ve always wanted to try, but in the past, we may have done other activities because the children wanted to.

Mark Consuelos and Kelly Ripa have been married for 26 years.

Donald Traill/Invision/Associated Press

Professionally, we have always been active. Even even on vacation, we find ourselves working. It’s unavoidable now because we’re all so accessible; there’s no real reason not to attend that meeting or the production meeting.

I frequently discuss the next phase of my career and what it could entail from a professional standpoint. I did love the writing process, but I’d rather produce for others. So, I believe I will focus more on screenwriting or scriptwriting. I’m not really sure. I lack the authority to do so. I am uneducated in that area. But that has not prevented me from pursuing any of my chosen careers.

I believe my objective for the following step is to retreat from the camera.

I’ve never enjoyed being in front of the camera, but it’s the only way I could figure out to make a livelihood. Now that I’ve accomplished that and am in a position of greater comfort and stability, I’d like to step back and perhaps become more creative off-camera.

For the sake of clarity, this interview has been reduced and modified.