JANE FRYER speaks on the outcome of Wagatha Christie’s High Court case

After an estimated £3million in legal fees, tens of thousands of pounds worth of designer finery, a lot of tears (sorry Rebekah), some appalling language, a nation divided into #teamrooney and #teamvardy and a truly astonishing insight into the mad, bad, wonderful world of Wags, here we are in the final moments of the great Wagatha Christie trial.

And my goodness have we learned a lot.

That Rebekah Vardy is tough as old boots, but can still be reduced to tears (again and again). That Wayne badly needs to go up a clothes size. That poor Peter Andre has every reason to feel a bit miffed right now. Oh yes, and that arguing with Coleen is like arguing with a pigeon, because ‘you’ll always get s*** in your hair’.

So perhaps it’s not surprising that the barristers’ final submissions are a bit of an anti-climax. For starters, the Rooneys have gone – thousands of miles away on holiday, naturally. (Coleen’s no doubt trying to slough off the grub of the Royal Courts of Justice in the Caribbean Sea as we speak.)

Jamie’s not here either (shock). Which leaves just Rebekah to add a pop of colour to the front bench in her green top.

Behind her, Hugh Tomlinson QC looks tired and crumpled while mahogany David Dickinson (sorry, Sherborne) bounces up and down like a schoolboy at prize-giving, poised for the glory moment.

But sadly, he’ll have to wait. There’ll be no judgment today, or any day soon. Which is a shame but, after all this Wagtastic folly, you can hardly blame Mrs Justice Steyn for needing a gentle lie-down for a week or ten in a darkened room.

Of course, it could be that she’s taking her time and being particularly thorough to ensure that this case can never, ever boomerang back to the Court on appeal.

Either way, she’s not playing ball; her judgment is reserved and so, as the final whistle blows and the teams retreat for their post-match debrief in their aromatherapy spa baths, here is my final commentary on the winners (no one), losers (everyone but the lawyers), red cards, fouls and goals in the inaugural World Cup of Wags.