Ricky Gervais once cracked a joke at the Golden Globes that still makes me laugh: Once Upon A Time in Hollywood was so long that by the end of the premiere, Leonardo DiCaprio’s date was too old for him.
That joke sums up the dating world for women my age perfectly—especially when it comes to younger men.
Why I Said No to the Younger Man
I recently decided not to meet a younger man—the one with the dodgy gazebo—for a drink.
The truth is, he once stood me up. I was sitting at Soho House, cutlery neatly set for two, when he cancelled last minute, claiming distance was the problem.
Fifty miles from London isn’t exactly an epic trek. I don’t mind eating alone—I do it often—but it felt like wasted time. That memory made the decision easy.
The Age Gap Red Flag
Even when the age gap is small, men can make it a problem.
I once dated “the German,” and after a weekend together, he texted me: I know you are older. As if I didn’t already know that. It was a red flag, plain and simple.
I’ve always looked after myself, never had kids, and honestly believe I can pass for 50. Courtney Love once guessed I was 35 after an interview, which won her a glowing review from me in return.
But men? They can’t seem to get past the number.
Men and Their Obsession With Youth
It’s not just my experience—science backs it up.
A study of 18,000 Feeld dating app users found that by the time men hit their 40s and 50s, they’re still chasing women at least a decade younger.
For men aged 29 to 50, their “ideal” partner’s age never climbs above 32. A quarter of men aged 50 are even open to dating 21-year-olds.
Twenty-one! At that age, I was living in a bedsit with acne and no cooking facilities.
Without a career, I wasn’t exactly irresistible.
A Glittering Career Versus Boring Youth
Speaking of careers, mine has been nothing short of glittering. Forty years on Fleet Street, twenty-five at the Daily Mail.
When I ran into a commentator at ITN recently, she reminded me just how remarkable that journey has been.
Compare that to conversations I’ve had at Oxford and Cambridge dinners, which were so dull I mentally started making a shopping list.
Maybe that’s what men want—boring women who don’t intimidate them.
Why Younger Women Seem Safer
Men often opt for younger partners because it makes them feel taller, stronger, more powerful—for a while, at least. But then comes reality. Babies.
Domesticity. Furniture shopping. I asked David 1.0 why his marriage ended. His reply? She kept wanting me to buy furniture.
That about sums it up. The only thing my husband ever bought was an oven glove, and he never cooked a meal in his life.
Stories They’ll Never Hear
Younger women might offer men simplicity, but they can’t compete with the stories I carry.
I’ve sat in Bruce Willis’s bath, annoyed John Travolta, waved Patrick Swayze through a party after Botox, stood inches away from Donald Trump, and even had Special Branch blow up my Louis Vuitton bag.
That’s a lifetime of tales you won’t hear while chatting about popcorn and Coke at the Odeon.
Done With Men, Thanks Very Much
So yes, let men chase their 21-year-olds if it makes them feel better.
I’m not interested in shrinking myself to make a man comfortable.
I’d rather be the woman with the outrageous stories than the one who quietly nods along.
Jones Moans: This Week’s Irritations
Of course, no week goes by without a fresh gripe:
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Home dramas: Woodpecker finally agreed to take back the unopened oak flooring I didn’t use, but slapped me with a £400 “re-stocking fee.”
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Teeth obsessions: Ever since getting my Turkey teeth, I can’t stop noticing dental details. Watching Simon & Garfunkel in Central Park, I wasn’t mesmerised by the music—I was distracted by Art Garfunkel’s fillings.