Vanessa Williams has revealed how she carried the weight of a childhood sexual abuse secret for decades, only finding the courage to speak about it after her father passed away.
The actress and singer, now 62, shared that she buried the painful experience because she feared her father couldn’t handle the truth.
Her story first came to light in her 2012 memoir, You Have No Idea, co-written with her late mother, Helen Williams, six years after her father, Milton Williams Jr., had died.
A Summer That Changed Everything
Vanessa recounted that the abuse happened when she was just 10, during a family trip in California.
An 18-year-old girl sexually assaulted her while Vanessa was on holiday with a friend and their family friends.
She had thought about telling her parents, but tragedy struck back home—her uncle had died, leaving her father devastated.
Feeling that she couldn’t add to her family’s grief, Vanessa said she simply buried the experience and didn’t mention it until much later.
Speaking with Jamie Laing on his Great Company podcast, she reflected on the era and how common it was for children to hide such trauma.
“It was a different time. It’s not an excuse, but it’s sad realizing how many people went through similar experiences,” she said.
A Child Left Conflicted
Vanessa described her young self as confused and conflicted over the encounter.
On Oprah’s Master Class in 2014, she explained how she initially viewed the older girl as a “cool kid” who made her feel grown-up, even as she knew what happened wasn’t right.
She recalled being so young that she didn’t fully understand the situation but still felt it was inappropriate.
“I had no idea what it was, but I knew it felt good,” Vanessa admitted.
“And that’s what makes it confusing—you think something must be normal because it feels good, but it’s absolutely not normal for a 10-year-old.”
Lasting Effects on Adolescence
The incident stayed with Vanessa, shaping her adolescence.
She said being sexualized at such an early age stripped away some of her innocence and led her to explore her sexuality earlier than most.
“It awakened your sexuality at an age where it shouldn’t be awakened,” she reflected.
“Had this not happened, I might have had a more normal teenage experience without that lingering shame.”
Facing Public Racism and Death Threats
Vanessa also opened up about the extreme pressures she faced as the first Black Miss America in 1983 at just 20.
While her victory was historic, it came with a flood of racist hate mail and death threats.
“At 20, my world completely changed,” she said.
Her parents tried to shield her, keeping threats out of her view while the FBI monitored them.
She recalled the bizarre precautions taken during public appearances, like sharpshooters at hometown parades and strict chaperone supervision at events, all hints of the danger she was facing without fully understanding it.
The Betrayal That Followed
Towards the end of her Miss America reign, Vanessa was forced to relinquish her crown temporarily after private nude photos taken by photographer Tom Chiapel were sold to Penthouse without her consent. The scandal threatened her career, though she retained her scholarship.
Vanessa later filed a $500 million lawsuit against the photographer and the publisher, which she dropped a year later.
Reflecting on the betrayal on The Jonathan Ross Show, she said, “It made me who I am.
In retrospect, there was nothing I could have done to navigate it better. I’m grateful to my parents and community who stood by me.”
Advocacy and Awareness
Vanessa’s story highlights the lasting impact of sexual abuse and public scrutiny.
She encourages anyone affected to seek help.
In the UK, Rape Crisis can be contacted at 0808 500 2222, while the NSPCC helpline is available at 0808 800 5000 for child sexual abuse concerns.
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