It has taken me days to work through the testimony of Trudi Burgess, a teacher left tetraplegic after a vicious attack by her ex-partner, Robert Easom.
It’s gut-wrenching to read — yet we must confront it.
Because horrifying as Burgess’s experience is, it is alarmingly common.
Domestic abuse touches one in four women in England and Wales.
Pause and think about that. One in four.
Perhaps you, like me, fall into that statistic. Or perhaps you’ve been fortunate enough to navigate relationships rooted in respect.
Either way, Burgess’s story is a mirror to the hidden suffering around us.
The Attack That Changed Everything
The jury this week took just 27 minutes to convict Easom, 56, of grievous bodily harm with intent.
Sentencing is scheduled for early next year.
The attack happened in February.
After years of abuse, Burgess summoned the courage to end her relationship. That’s when Easom erupted.
“He got hold of my head, and pushed it with both his hands down,” Burgess recalled, voice trembling.
“It felt like it just folded into my chest. I’ve never felt anything like it, I felt my neck break, and I started to go numb.”
Easom’s own account? A “play fight that went wrong.”
Detective Constable Bethanie Kirk of Lancashire Police described him as “manipulative, controlling, and possessing a warped sense of entitlement” toward women.
And yet, media accounts still try to explain why Burgess became involved with someone so dangerous.
The Cruel Cycle of Abuse
We learn that Burgess had been vulnerable when they met.
Her husband had recently died of brain cancer.
Easom charmed her at first, only to later trap her in a relentless cycle of abuse punctuated by brief periods of remorse.
Reading about these fleeting apologies brought back memories of my own brushes with violence decades ago.
My ex, let’s call him Paul, could be charming, funny, and magnetic — until he wasn’t.
One moment of bliss would be followed by rages: smashed glass, broken chairs, and eventually my bruised arm slammed into a door.
There were moments when the violence was so absurdly personal — a necklace ripped from my neck, a birthday gift from my mother shattered on the floor.
And yet the next morning, he would be overflowing with remorse, promising love and devotion. The cycle was relentless.
I couldn’t understand how I had ended up there, and I still have nightmares that blend his behavior with the disbelief of people close to me who dismissed my experience.
The Scale of the Crisis
Attitudes toward domestic violence are better than they used to be, but barely.
Police receive a domestic-abuse call every 30 seconds.
Yet studies suggest fewer than 24% of incidents are reported.
On average, one woman is killed by a partner or ex every five days; three women a week die by suicide due to abuse.
It is mostly men who perpetrate this violence — 93% of defendants are male, and 84% of victims are female.
And yet, society repeatedly asks women to explain why they stayed, or how they ended up with manipulators.
Rarely do we ask men like Easom why they won’t stop hurting others.
Looking at Compassion and Change
On a lighter note amid grim news, it’s Addiction Awareness Week, and the Princess of Wales reminded the world that people affected by addiction deserve compassion, not judgment.
Predictably, her words were met with criticism from narrow-minded voices — but it’s heartening to see advocacy for understanding and support in action.
Science, Celebrities, and Seasonal Curiosities
Meanwhile, research suggests our brains stay in “adolescent mode” until around 32 — news that feels painfully relatable for those of us still feeling like teenagers in our 40s.
Entertainment gossip is hardly escapist: Jonathan Bailey, star of Bridgerton, continues to win hearts on the big screen — proving that sometimes a bit of unattainable charm is irresistible.
On the festive front, early Christmas trees have appeared in homes, twinkling brightly, prompting me to grumble about lights fading before December truly begins.
And health researchers warn fame carries real risks: successful singers tend to die younger than their peers, partly due to coping mechanisms like drinking or drug use.
So maybe all those Hollywood fortunes should also pay for therapists, because it’s clearly not easy being the best-known person in the room.
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