Reality TV might seem like a fun, glamorous ride, but behind the scenes, it can leave a lasting mark—just ask Ian ‘H’ Watkins.
The Steps singer and former Celebrity Big Brother finalist recently opened up about the emotional toll his time on the show took on him, revealing he experienced serious paranoia after leaving the house.
“I Thought People Were Still Watching Me”
Looking back on his 2007 appearance on Celebrity Big Brother, Ian shared that even though he knew the cameras were off, he couldn’t shake the eerie feeling that he was still being watched.
For weeks, he believed people were behind mirrors, observing his every move—something he admits “wasn’t sane,” but felt very real at the time.
In an interview with The Sun, he reflected:
“When you’re in there, people are watching you all the time—even while you sleep. That messes with your head. And there was no aftercare back then. You were just left to fend for yourself.”
Then vs. Now: How Reality TV Shows Are Changing
Ian believes things have improved in recent years.
Shows like Love Island, which has faced public scrutiny following the tragic deaths of former contestants and host Caroline Flack, have now implemented much more robust mental health protocols.
ITV, which airs Love Island, has since expanded its duty of care policies.
Contestants now receive mental health screenings before and after the show, training on how to deal with social media, and a minimum of eight therapy sessions once they return home.
A welfare team even checks in for up to 14 months post-show.
“It Can Be a Poisoned Chalice”
During his season, Ian starred alongside Jade Goody and Shilpa Shetty—a time when the show drew criticism for a major racism and bullying scandal.
He doesn’t believe something like that would happen now, saying,
“The game has changed. Back then, it could be a poisoned chalice.”
Despite the trauma, Ian has moved forward.
But he isn’t shy about admitting the experience left him with long-term effects, and he’s hopeful that today’s stars are better protected.
Struggling With His Health—And Finding a New Path
Reality TV isn’t the only challenge Ian’s faced lately.
A few months ago, he caught a nasty virus that caused him to lose half his vocal range—an especially devastating blow for a singer.
“It knocked me for six,” he told Heat Magazine, admitting he wouldn’t have been able to perform even if asked.
Still, he teased a big project to celebrate Steps’ 30th anniversary in the next couple of years, suggesting fans might not have seen the last of the band.
From Pop Star to Art Teacher: Ian’s Next Chapter
While his music career is on pause, Ian has rediscovered a childhood passion—painting.
And it’s not just a hobby; he’s become a professional artist, even selling pieces for thousands of pounds.
He’s held multiple exhibitions and loves the one-on-one nature of art shows, saying they’re far more personal than being on stage.
He’s also started teaching art at his local school, saying:
“I’m very privileged that I can do the school run, paint, and take a little job here and there.”
His journey into art isn’t new—it began when he was 18 and accepted into Cardiff School of Art and Design.
But he deferred his place for a shot at showbiz.
Years later, he finally dusted off that dream.
“Now’s That Time” — Embracing His Creative Calling
On Instagram, Ian gave fans a peek into his latest exhibit, proudly showing his work at Cloud Gallery in Chichester.
“These are a different kind of show,” he wrote.
“Usually I’m on stage with four other bandmates.
But an art exhibition?
There’s nowhere to hide.”
He shared how deeply personal each piece was and how meaningful it felt to talk about his process with visitors.
“I always knew I’d open up that box of dreams one day. And now’s that time.”
The Bigger Picture: Why This Story Matters
Ian’s candid story is a reminder that behind the glitz of fame, real people face real struggles—whether it’s mental health challenges, illness, or rediscovering passion.
His experience also highlights the critical importance of proper aftercare for reality TV participants, something that’s finally getting the attention it deserves.