Aubrey Gordon, a 41-year-old writer and activist from Oregon, is known for her outspoken work on body image and fat acceptance.
In her latest BBC documentary, Storyville – Your Fat Friend, Gordon opens up about her own personal battle with eating disorders, specifically anorexia.
She’s been very vocal about her weight struggles in the past, even sharing that she once weighed 350lbs (around 25st), and in this documentary, she delves deeper into the complexities of dealing with an eating disorder when society constantly judges you for your size.
In the documentary, Gordon shares how she has resisted seeking help from medical professionals, fearing that they would dismiss her struggles simply because she doesn’t fit the stereotypical image of someone with anorexia.
She describes her eating disorder as “atypical anorexia,” where she exhibits the symptoms of anorexia but doesn’t have the low body mass index (BMI) typically associated with the condition.
Gordon admits that there are days when she goes without eating for long periods, only to feel a crushing sense of failure when she eventually has to eat something.
Facing Stigma and Judgment for Seeking Help
In the documentary, Gordon reveals the reasons she’s hesitant to talk about her condition with anyone, including healthcare providers.
She explains that many fat individuals who seek treatment for eating disorders are often mocked or dismissed by doctors, who assume that someone of a larger size can’t possibly suffer from anorexia.
Gordon shares her frustration with this stigma, stating that when a fat person expresses concerns about an eating disorder, the assumption is often that it’s binge eating disorder, not anorexia.
Despite the struggles she faces in finding compassionate and informed care, Gordon expresses a desire for treatment that won’t make her condition worse.
She opens up about her fears of not being able to access proper care for her eating disorder and the emotional toll that has taken on her over the years.
What Is Atypical Anorexia?
While many people associate anorexia nervosa with extreme weight loss, atypical anorexia nervosa, a term added to the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-5) in 2013, refers to individuals who experience the typical symptoms of anorexia, such as an intense fear of gaining weight and severe food restriction, but without the significant weight loss.
In this type of anorexia, the individual’s weight is often within or above the normal range, making it harder to diagnose and understand.
Aubrey Gordon’s experience with atypical anorexia highlights how difficult it can be for people in larger bodies to access treatment and understanding.
She points out that dieting and weight management systems often have damaging effects on larger people, leading them to adopt behaviors that mirror those associated with eating disorders.
The Pain of Body Shaming and Its Impact
Throughout the documentary, Gordon recounts painful experiences with body shaming, including one particularly striking memory of a stranger in a grocery store telling her that the melon she was buying was “too much sugar” for her.
Gordon, who is known for advocating body positivity and fat acceptance, emphasizes that the everyday judgment faced by fat individuals is pervasive and deeply damaging.
She also reflects on her early experiences with weight loss programs and fat camps, which she attended starting at age 11.
Despite her best efforts, her body continued to hold on to fat, and these early experiences with dieting ultimately led to disordered eating behaviors that persisted into adulthood.
Struggles with Healthcare as a Fat Person
Aubrey Gordon shares how her experiences with healthcare providers, particularly regarding weight-related issues, have been fraught with discrimination and neglect.
She describes how medical visits often turned into “weight loss lectures” and how she was denied proper treatment for other medical conditions due to her size.
Gordon’s experiences are a powerful reminder of the difficulties that fat people face when navigating the healthcare system, and how these challenges often prevent them from receiving the care they need.
Aubrey Gordon’s Activism and Public Platform
In addition to her personal story, Gordon has become a well-known figure in the body positivity and fat acceptance movements.
She began writing under the pseudonym “Your Fat Friend” in 2016, gaining attention for her candid blog posts about navigating life as a fat person in a world that often marginalizes and stigmatizes those with larger bodies.
Her writing has resonated with many people, and she eventually revealed her identity in 2020 when she published her first book, What We Don’t Talk About When We Talk About Fat.
Through her activism, Gordon challenges the widespread cultural myths about fatness, advocating for people to simply say “fat” instead of using euphemisms like “curvy” or “chubby.”
Her work aims to reshape the way society views body size and health, and she continues to speak out against the harmful effects of anti-fat bias.
Facing Backlash and Continuing the Fight for Fat Acceptance
While Gordon has received widespread support from many fans and celebrities, including Monica Lewinsky, Jameela Jamil, and Adele, she has also faced significant backlash for her views.
Some individuals, particularly in the eating disorder community, have accused her of “lying” about her struggles with anorexia because of her size.
Gordon acknowledges the hurtful comments she’s received and admits that there are times when she feels unsafe due to the threats she’s faced for sharing her experiences.
Despite the challenges, Gordon remains committed to her activism and to challenging the societal narratives that often define people by their size.
The documentary is a heartfelt and powerful exploration of her journey, one that sheds light on the complexities of eating disorders and the stigma faced by people in larger bodies.
The Documentary and Its Impact
Aubrey Gordon’s story is captured in the BBC documentary Storyville – Your Fat Friend, which follows her journey from anonymous blogger to influential public speaker and author.
The film, directed by Jeanie Finlay, provides an intimate look at Gordon’s life and her ongoing fight against body shaming, dieting culture, and the discrimination faced by fat people.
Gordon’s work continues to challenge long-held beliefs about weight and health, urging people to rethink their assumptions about fat bodies.
As she reflects on her journey, she says, “Anti-fatness is everywhere,” and emphasizes the need for a paradigm shift in how we view and treat people of all sizes.
The documentary airs tonight at 10pm on BBC4 and is available on iPlayer.
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