It seems like chivalry is far from dead, but perhaps it just needs a modern twist.
According to relationship expert Brenna Lynn, the secret to getting men to help is all about how you ask.
Rather than making things complicated or unclear, Brenna believes men respond better when they see a “quest” in front of them.
The Quest for Help
Brenna, a content creator from Cleveland, Ohio, shared her advice in a viral TikTok, revealing how to get men to take action without hesitation.
She explained that men love quests but aren’t fond of puzzles.
The key, she says, is being straightforward and clear when asking for help.
“Men don’t want you to be coy or mysterious,” Brenna explained.
“What they love is a direct quest – tell them exactly what you want, and they’ll do it happily.”
Her advice? Frame your request with, “I want you to do this, and I’ll be happy when you do.”
She even shared a personal story about a friend whose boyfriend offered to scrape off her car, only for her friend to decline out of concern for inconveniencing him.
Brenna advised her to embrace the “quest” mindset, allowing him to help without hesitation.
Why Quests Work
According to relationship therapist Jaime Bronstein, men naturally respond to challenges, even simple ones.
“When a woman asks for something as a quest, the man is more likely to jump at the chance compared to a regular request,” Jaime explained.
This is because, in relationships, men often like to feel like they’re needed and appreciated for their strength and capability – especially when it comes to tasks they can do well.
Jaime also highlighted the concept of the “hero instinct,” where men have an innate desire to feel like they’re rescuing or helping their partner.
By asking them to complete tasks, especially ones involving physical effort, women allow their partners to tap into this instinct, reinforcing their sense of purpose and importance.
The Importance of Kindness
While Brenna’s approach taps into playful “quest” dynamics, Jaime reminds us that kindness is crucial in any relationship.
When a man helps with a quest and is appreciated for it, it strengthens the connection.
“Men love to feel appreciated, and when they see that they’ve made their partner happy, it boosts their sense of purpose,” Jaime said.
That appreciation makes men feel special, which ultimately creates a deeper bond between both partners.
Reactions and Real-Life Examples
Users of Brenna’s TikTok quickly agreed with the “quest” approach, chiming in with their thoughts.
One man admitted, “You saying quest activated my neurons,” while another added, “Anyone else hear ‘quest’ and immediately drop whatever they were doing to give this their full attention?” Many echoed similar sentiments, confirming that framing a request as a quest, rather than a task or test, made all the difference in their response.
However, some users jokingly drew the line at certain chores, with one saying, “True, but laundry is not quest worthy.”
A Fun and Effective Strategy
While not all tasks may deserve a “quest” label, the overall concept is clear: men love feeling needed, and women enjoy the bond that comes from being appreciated.
So next time you need help, consider framing it as a quest and see how it works. After all, who doesn’t want to be someone’s hero?
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